Away by the Sea

My First Love

8am BANG BANG My head is killing me. I'm never going to drink that much alcohol again. Rebecca comes in holding a tray with a mug of hot tea and two digestive biscuits. I sit up and thank her. We both drink in silence trying to avoid the inevitable; she brings it up anyway. "So why did you freak out last night ?" She says. I sigh and try to figure out where to start.

"Do you remember Dylan?" I ask. She glares at me. "How could I forget the fat ugly pig?" She replied through gritted teeth. Dylan was my first serious boyfriend. We dated for a total 2 years and 3 months. I still remember curling up next to him on the sofa or our romantic strolls in the public gardens. However, I found out that for the last 6 months of us dating he had been cheating on me for another girl called Lily. I cried so hard I probably filled enough buckets to stop the water crisis in Africa. Of course Leanne and Rebecca were there for me all the time with chocolate, ice cream and movies. I explained to her "the way Lenny put his arms around me, it reminded me of Dylan and I really don't want to go through that whole traumatic experience again." She put her arms around me and we sat there for a while until the tea had gone cold.

12pm Leanne has just grilled us some ham and cheese sandwiches, we all have headaches and can't be bothered to move even though our introductory classes start tomorrow. Little Christy squeaks in her cage, running round in her little wheel. Sometimes I wish that I could be a chinchilla and escape the real pressures like dealing with boys and school and friends and exams - it just all seems too much.

7pm We haven't done much today, just moped around, tidying up and organising our bags and outfits for tomorrow. I decide to run myself a nice hot bath to relieve some stress. As I slip into the hot water I think about Dylan and what he used to say to me "I will love you forever" "You are the only one for me" "I will never leave you" "I am here for you" and I drank in every word. Will Lenny be like that ? Does he really like me or was he just drunk ? What am I talking about - I have only known him for a day! Oh well, I'm not taking any chances.

11pm Trying to have an early night isn't easy with Leanne taking up half the bed. She sneaked in half an hour ago and said she couldn't bare to be alone. We curl up together and think about tomorrow, half worried, half excited. Leanne whispers to me "Alex, are you awake?" I reply "Of course I am with you pushing me off the bed like this" She apologises and wriggles over. "Alex, do you think Jake really likes me or was he just snogging me to impress his mates ??" I'm taken aback. Leanne never talks about this kind of stuff with me, she normally goes to Rebecca because she is the best at giving advice. "Well maybe I don't know, you barely know him yourself." I say. "Ok well night" and she drifts off almost immediately. Eventually my eyelids begin to close and I dream of what may happen tomorrow...