In her Mind

Chapter 8

Oh of course gym was first hour. Again. It was second semester and her schedule was the same. Her one good friend moved two towns over and Kat just hated school even more. Brandon was at school though. So that was a plus. She dressed out, being careful not to let her skin show. A black hoodie and black sweats. Even if it was summer, she still wears it. She starts to run. It's difficult for her to breathe. 'Come on Kat. This is the only time you can over do it and no one with notice' she whispers to herself. She pushes herself. Her head spins and her chest hurts. She slows to a walking pace, shakes her head, then speeds up. She finishes her final lap and fell. Trying not to look bad, she starts to stretch. Once gym was over she sped up to get to guitar. She had 10 minutes but she liked the dark theatre. She lays down and sighs. The lights come on and she stumbles to get up and get a chair. 'Of fucking course the darkness couldn't last.' Guitar was difficult. She could barely sit up straight from gym but she had to pass. What would her mum say if she got a 'B'. It'd be hell. She struggled to play the notes on time but she did it. The rest of the day was like always. She walked to her class, head down, barley listening yet cramming to get an 'A'. At home wasn't much better. She ran to her room blared her music. She had no energy but managed to pulled her to the bathroom. She started to cry. Then scream. She thrashed around, not being able to control her body. She bit her arm to stop the noise and slammed her head against the wall. Over and over. She couldn't do this. But she had to. She thought about what would happen. The world would keep going. The stars would still shine. Time wouldn't stop. But Natalie. She couldn't take it. She threw a fit when Kat went away for a week. What would she do if Kat was gone forever? She literally could not take it. Her heart was too weak. Kat screamed again. She didn't want to leave marks. No. He would see. He'd get upset. He'd just ignore her and slap her. She settled for slamming her head on the wall a couple more times then passed out on the floor. When she woke up, she got dressed in her usual outfit and redid her make up. "Mum. I'm heading out" she grabbed her bag and walked out of the house. She went across the street to the park then down a trail to the cemetery. She laid down on the cement bench and plugged in her ear buds. She fell asleep. When she woke up she grabbed her bag, music still playing. Kat took out a pencil and notebook and started to draw. She never was exceptional at drawing but she wasn't bad. She drew until her hand hurt. Then she picked up her stuff and headed home.