hereafter, hereafter

ymir

dedicated to enobaria (~kelsi~) because i am 3 hundred percent sure she will know who this is, and i am 3 hundred percent sure she understands every word. can you dedicate something in one work to one person more than once? because i love you and you deserve millions of dedications.

-

the day she fucked me up was in mid-september of 2012. 

god it was good.

we'll call her something of ymir {of her flesh was my earth. her being was all.}

 {to me} 

her name {the real one} is the means to an end for empires 

and if you think this is a joke, then stop thinking because her name itself could bring about greatness in a person {its bestowal} 

her kisses were like fucking gold. maybe that was when she actually fucked me up. because that day {in november, 2012} when she put them on mine, was the day she imprinted herself on me.

they left dark marks {lipstick, then} on my fair skin in the same fashion that a fist would

i mean if she punched me i’d whimper at her feet and let her because

she means

so damn much to me

in a mess of anger

in a mess of lust

in a mess of tongue-in-cheek,

she was there and she just listened. 

i want her

any part of her

to touch me

and she won’t do it anymore

{boys usually have very ugly tears when they do have them at all} 

she was gold. golden, and beautiful, and spanning in a sheen across her being.

and her hair {in my fingers} is the feeling of earth shifting around me

and her fingers {in my hair} is my breathing shallowing out to not even a fucking gasp it just--

and then, my heart--

just stopping like it ceases to exist because she's touching me

that day {in october, 2013} was the worst and best day. 

she didn't take from me. 

she gave to me. 

she gave me a reason to become careless.

i didn't take from her. she gained something {i hope, i pray, i swear i know she did} 

and i am so fucking stupid because

as a male, i am careless and weak. i mean, applying this to me and only me

she bat her lashes and twirled {blonde, dyed black -currently-) strands of seduction and i was gone

ymir i am so sorry 

i am sorry for what we were

i am sorry for what we did

i am very sorry for now because we were greatness, we were infinite. we destroyed and conquered. 

but

of course

all great things that are that great

come to great ends

and to be frank {opinions, opinions} 

it ended too soon 

the same way it fucking started 

-

a/n: i'm feelin sad