Heart of Ice

Honesty

It felt like the world went dark all of the sudden. She had not realized how much he had meant to her until she realized she never even had him.

She had never felt so used in her life. Not when her father sold her off to the enemy country. Not when she was made to sleep with Seungcheol so that he may "impregnate" her. Not when Soonyoung agreed to marry her in exchange for the warrant to her body. This was far more hurtful than anything those other men had ever done. This was far more degrading...

She rushed through the palace halls, eager to arrive in her room so that she didn't have to suppress her tears anymore. When she finally arrived and closed the door behind her, Haein had already been there, hanging dresses in Yewon's closet. When Haein saw Yewon looking distressed, she didn't seem surprised at all. She looked towards Yewon with a sympathetic look in her eyes and approached her with a letter in hand.

"Wonwoo asked me to give this to you," Haein said as she handed it to Yewon, who took it after wiping her tears with her palms.

Yewon didn't know why she was so eager to read it, but she prayed that maybe he would reassure her that it wasn't true what Seungcheol said. Maybe Seungcheol was lying. Maybe Wonwoo's letter would show her that...

Dearest Yewon,

I have something to say to you. Seungcheol is preventing me from seeing you and is exiling me from the palace for a month. I am being forced to leave tonight, but I need to see you before I leave. Please let me see you. If you agree, then Haein will instruct you about how you can do that. But if you deny me this opportunity, I will be full of regrets until I see you again...

With all of my love,

Wonwoo

She read the letter four times. It sounded like Wonwoo. Mellow, sweet, and void of deception. She could not imagine that the person with such a pleasant tongue could be capable of deceiving her like that. Was he that good at deception, or was Seungcheol that good at lying?

Seungcheol said it with such conviction, revealing details he could not have made up on the spot like that. It wasn't in Seungcheol's interest to lie either, and so she found herself believing him with little question.

She was confused and angry with herself for being so confused. She was angry herself for being so naïvely smitten with Wonwoo that she wanted to believe in him. She wanted to know the truth from him. She couldn't bear not knowing. She needed to confront him about it once and for all.

"Please instruct me on how to meet him," Yewon told Haein.

-

Haein gave Yewon her maid's costume, and veiled her with a cover. She told Yewon about the stairway which led to the servant's quarters, through which Yewon could exit from the back. Wonwoo would wait for her there.

It was easy to follow Haein's instructions. She left her room, and the guards outside did not say a word. She went through the servant's quarters, and no one even spared her a second look. She found the doorway and indeed, Wonwoo was waiting for her.

He recognized her immediately, and she saw him sigh in relief. He didn't speak to her though, he just began to walk, and Yewon understood that he wanted her to follow him.

She walked silently behind him, still veiled and unrecognized by the people around her. Wonwoo led her into another building. She walked past many doors, only one of which was open. She glanced inside and saw guards clearing it of books. She also saw a bed, and realized then that these were all bedrooms. They were much bigger and grander than the servants' bedrooms, but still quite meager.

Wonwoo opened one of the doors and motioned her inside. When both were inside, Wonwoo immediately closed and locked the door, breathing out a sigh of relief.

It was his bedroom. Yewon could tell from the books he had which were sprawled across his bed and floor; there was poetry and history, and some of the unfinished romance novels she had asked him to read.

She took off her veil and turned to him, waiting expectantly for him to say something.

He only glanced at her once, and he seemed to be aware of what she was thinking and what she knew about him.

"Do you doubt me?" he asked her sadly, eyes averted.

"Honestly... I do," she answered.

"I love and care about you, Yewon. My feelings for you are as real as they get. Don't believe what Seungcheol told you."

"How do you even know what Seungcheol told me?" she asked.

"Because it's what I told him. It's true I said all those horrible things to him, but I was lying to him about lying to you, because I didn't want him to know that I honestly and truly love you. If he knew about my feelings, I thought he'd never let me see you again. So I just lied and told him it was fake, and he reacted the exact way I was hoping to avoid..."

Yewon wanted to believe him. She really, really did, but she still felt suspicious. Something was off...

"Do you have a lover?" she asked him incredulously.

Wonwoo lifted his eyes from the floor and admitted: "her name is Jinye. I met her many years ago. We are engaged to be married, but I had been planning to break off the engagement when I see her again. My heart has been unfaithful to her lately, as you know," he said, his adoring eyes fixating on her.

She felt relieved and regretful for doubting him at the same time. She believed him– she really did. She didn't care that he had a lover she never knew about. She didn't care that he lied to Seungcheol. All she cared about was that it wasn't fake like she thought. He didn't pretend.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her. I was ashamed," he explained. He took a few steps closer to her and lifted her chin with his hands, forcing her to look at him: "I don't know what I can do to prove my sincerity to you, but allow me to try." Before she had the time to consider, he gently placed his lips over hers and kissed her.

She felt the funny sensation in her stomach, the fluttering. She felt his sincerity. It was in the way he held her chin, and the way his lips felt as they grazed over her own in tender indulgence.

He pulled away just enough to look in her eyes and ask her: "do you believe me?"

She could only nod, too flushed to say or do anything else.

"I'm glad," he said softly. She could tell he was hesitating, trying to decide whether or not he should kiss her again. His eyes flickered from her lips to her eyes ambivalently. She waited for him to make his decision, and when he finally decided to kiss her again, she returned it without hesitation.