Heart of Ice

His

In novels, when a protagonist falls in love with someone, the end goal had always been to marry that person. When the marriage takes place, the protagonist gets her happily ever after, and the novel comes to a joyous close.

But Yewon was now married to someone that she loved, however, she did not feel the same kind of closure that she felt at the end of novels.

Marriage is not the happily-ever-after, she realized. Sex is not the happily-ever-after either. Life is so much more complicated than that one-dimensional narrative you often read in stories.

-

Realizing she loved him made things so much harder and more complicated than they needed to be. Her feelings had been a mess that entire night, and not only because she broke down and cried like a child in front of him.

She was embarrassed by how much she cried, especially given the reason he came to her room in the first place...

When she cried, he had tried to convince her that she was not guilty and that he didn't feel betrayed no matter what she did, but that just reminded her that she was doomed to never experience a husband that was devoted to her, and made her feel terrible.

Perhaps it was too much to ask, she thought. He had warned her since the very beginning that their marriage was a political one, and that there was no passion there at all. She should count herself lucky that he at least respected and trusted her. Why did she suddenly crave something more from him than that?

Of course, what he came for had not happened the previous night; she must have cried herself to sleep instead, with Seungcheol lying beside her trying to calm her down.

When she woke in the morning, she was met with the peaceful sight of his sleeping face. He had a unique way of sleeping: on his right side with his arm under his head and his other hand in front him.

When you realize that you love someone, they suddenly become so much more enticing than before. For the first time since she had known him, she was tempted by him, and so she did not fight the urge to get closer and kiss his cheek.

He was a light sleeper and so she saw his eyes open as she pulled back from her spontaneous kiss.

"Good morning," he said drowsily to her.

"Good morning," she replied, blushing.

"So... what did I do to deserve that?" he hummed with a hint of a smile on his face. That gave her confidence; she loved it when he smiled.

"I just felt like it," she mumbled with a shy shrug.

He reached out to take her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it. It should have made Yewon happy, but instead she found herself overthinking; cheek kisses are displays of affection, but hand kisses are displays of respect.

Could she ever surpass the "mutual respect" threshold with him?

He sat up and stretched and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. As she watched him, she realized that they rarely ever woken up in the morning together like this. Even when he spent the night, he would wake up before her and leave to do his duties. She didn't know why she had only realized this now, but he never waited for her to wake up when he spent the night with her.

It was a very intimate married couple experience to wake up together, Yewon thought. And Seungcheol clearly did not wish to have an experience like that with her. The only reason he was still here now, she guessed, was because he need her to do his current duty.

"Are you feeling okay?" Seungcheol asked her.

She nodded. "I promise I won't cry this time."

"We can do this tonight if you're not..."