"Daring" Dashwood's Wasteland Wanders

Episode X15: Here Come the Cavalry

Episode X15: Here Come the Cavalry

THEME MUSIC (“Jazzy Interlude”, Billy Munn)

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: (V.O.) You’re listening to the Adventures of me, Herbert “Daring” Dashwood, and my stalwart ghoul manservant, Argyle. Today’s episode? “Here Come the Cavalry”.

 THEME MUSIC CONTINUES TO 0 M 10 S.

SCENE: EXTERIOR.

ARGYLE: (WEARY AND CAUTIOUS) I can't believe I agreed to this. How are you doing, Mr. Wilberforce?

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: (SOUNDS FRESH AND RELAXED) Fine, just fine. I appreciate your help, Argyle. I couldn't have walked this far without your shoulder to lean on whenever I get dizzy.

ARGYLE: I only brought you because the boss told me to keep an eye on you. Otherwise, I'd have left you at the cabin.(SHORT PAUSE) Here we are! Quick, hide behind this rock, before they see us. Welcome to Paradise Falls.

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: That mess of derelict cars and barbed wire is the slavers' headquarters?

ARGYLE: There's some real buildings in there somewhere, but Paradise Falls ain't exactly a beauty spot.

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: No, I guess not. And to think, my poor Cassandra is cruelly imprisoned in that horrendous place!

ARGYLE: Your poor Cassandra?! You're still worrying about that rat? She's a backstabbing snake who tried to kill me. And what about your brother? The boss is imprisoned in there, too, you know. And it's thanks to him trying to rescue that Chase woman - as if she needs rescuing, what with her being the Slaver Queen! I don't understand what you two smoothskins see in that dangerous dame.

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: I refuse to listen to you slander my fiancée like that, Argyle! I won't work with you any longer! I'll rescue Bertie and Cassandra myself. I'm going to walk over there, and - ooooh. Dizzy spell.

SOUND EFFECT: THUMP

ARGYLE: (OFF-MIC) Not again! (ON-MIC) You're going to walk over there, are you? Face it, Mr. Wilberforce, you need my help more than I need yours.

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: (WEAKLY) That may be true. So?

ARGYLE: So, shut up about Miss Chase and let me get started on the rescuing!

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: Fine, fine, your comments are forgiven. What do we do though, Argyle? Do we rush in, guns blazing, and rescue them?

ARGYLE: No, we -

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: (INTERRUPTS ARGYLE) Do we sneak up on the guards, tie them up, and then rush in, guns blazing?

ARGYLE: No, actually -

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: (INTERRUPTS ARGYLE) Do we make a heroic speech before rushing in, guns blazing?

ARGYLE: No! We do nothing! Or at least, you do nothing. You stay here, behind this rock, and stay quiet!

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: What, really? After we came all this way?

ARGYLE: Yes! Every five minutes you get dizzy and fall over! I didn't bring you here so you could get yourself killed!

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: But how will that help us rescue Cassandra and Bertie? What are you going to do?

ARGYLE: I have to go see what kind of security they've got before we do anything else. As for you, you're going to sit here and behave while I go case the slaver headquarters. Got it?

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: (SIGHS DRAMATICALLY) Fine. but as soon as you've gotten a good look around, you'll come back and tell me what the plan is, right? Promise?

ARGYLE: (WEARILY) Yes. I promise. But you've got to make me a promise, too, Mr. Wilberforce. You've gotta promise that you aren’t going to go wandering around and get yourself caught by the slavers. Deal?

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: Deal.

END SCENE

THEME MUSIC (“Jazzy Interlude”, Billy Munn)

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: (V.O.) Be sure to tune in next time for another exciting Adventure of me, Herbert “Daring” Dashwood, and my stalwart ghoul manservant, Argyle!

THEME MUSIC CONTINUES TO END