Chapter 6

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Olivia walked in the front door of her home 2 weeks after their insemination appointment. It was past 10pm and she knew Noah was going to be asleep. When she entered the living room, she saw Noah sprawled out on the floor and Ed passed out on the couch. She looked down at her phone and she saw she had a voicemail from the doctors office. They knew they would be calling today because they went to get tested yesterday. She kneeled down in front of her husband and placed a kiss on his forehead. On his nose. On his cheeks. Then settled on his lips. She smiled when she felt him kiss back. "You're home." His hoarse voice floated into the air. She bent down to pick up a sleeping Noah and took him to his room while Ed cleaned off the table from their impromptu movie night. She returned to the couch and sat down. She showed him the voicemail and his smile broke out. He had been so happy the last few weeks and she had not really talked about it. She wasn't willing to accept it yet. "Play it." He whispers pulling her close. She leaned into his body and called her voicemail. They held tightly onto each other while waiting for it to play. "Hello, Mrs.Tucker. We have gotten your results back." The woman's voice paused and they could hear paper being shuffled. "Congrats, you're pregnant." Whatever was said after that was lost to the Tuckers. They both met eyes and she kissed his lips softly. "We are having a baby." He whispered. He could see her eyes glisten and he pulled her tight to his body. After awhile of basking in the feeling of happiness, they retired to their bedroom. "We will tell after 14 weeks. Past the 2nd trimester mark." She says rubbing lotion onto her legs after she washed off the long day. He laid under the covers watching her get ready for bed. She laid down next to him and he moved to form against her. "I can't wait to see you swollen with our baby." He kissed her shoulder and she scoffed. "Not when I am all hormonal and fat." She rolled her eyes and he laid his hand over her flat stomach. "Always beautiful, my love."

Ed was dropping Noah off when his phone started to ring. "Hey, Liv." He answers turning on the bluetooth so her voice came through the speakers. "Ed, I need you to come to the office." Her voice sounded frantic so he quickly took a left to head towards the station instead of their home. She hung up before he could ask any questions. Within minutes he was walking into her office. He immediately noticed Olivia had her chair turned away from the door. "Liv, what's wrong?" She turned around slowly and he saw her holding her phone. "The little boy." She cried out. He moved to her and pulled her out of her chair.  "He died." Ed held her tightly to his body as she cried into his chest. He heard her mutter something so he pulled away slightly. "What?" He wiped the tears off her face and she sat down in her chair again. He leaned against the desk, still gripping her hands. "The little boy. He died. It's all our fault." In that moment, it felt like Ed got punched in the stomach. His wife was blaming them for the foster child's death. "Baby.. we couldn't take him.  You know that." He kissed her hand as she tried to control her tears. She pulled her hands away and shifted in her seat so she wouldn't have any physical contact with him. "We could have saved him. You didn't let me take him in." She cried and there was a knock at the door. Carisi came in and stopped short when he saw his Lieutenant crying and the Captain sitting there looking distressed. "Am I interrupting?" He asks taking a step back out of the door and Liv abruptly stood up. "No, I was just leaving. Call if there is an emergency. Amanda is on call." She grabbed her bag and stomped out of the office. Ed sighed and started to shut down her computer for her and clean up things she left behind. "The boy from the case. He died. Liv is taking it really hard. She might not be in tomorrow." Ed walked past the young boy and left as well.

When he got home, Olivia wasn't there. He went in the house and saw no trace of her even coming home. He sighed and walked down the hall to where they will be putting the baby's room in. It was still stark white and had nothing in it. He stepped in onto the hardwood floor and looked around. He could see the future nursery. He could see Olivia cuddling their baby in the chair with Noah standing next to her watching. He could see them sleepily standing over the crib watching the life they created sleep. He could already hear Olivia singing songs to put the infant to sleep. He walked out of the room when he heard the front door slam. She threw her purse on the table and kicked off her shoes. He realized it was downpouring outside now because she was soaked. Her shoes were muddy as she kicked them off. They hit the front door and mud got everywhere. She took off her blazer and dropped it onto the floor before walking to the kitchen. "Livia..." He whispered moving towards her to reach out to her. She looked at him and started to cry again. "I want a glass of wine. So badly." She fell into his chest and just sobbed. Why did she agree to this pregnancy? He set her down on the chair and let her cry. "Baby, I need you to take a deep breath. You are going to puke. I am sorry about the little boy." He kissed the side of her head and wrapped his arms around her tightly. 

Ed held Olivia as she slept on the couch. Noah was sitting on the floor playing with his toys. He was mumbling on about something that happened at daycare and Ed was pretending he understood what he was talking about. "Mama sleeping." He said climbing onto his mother. Ed nodded and Noah curled up to them. "I love you, bud." Ed says rubbing his back and Olivia's shoulder. He loved this family and he couldn't wait for the next year. 


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