Kagehina - What love's suppose to feel like

Chapter twenty - idfc

"I just got-" Hinata sobbed "-caught up in the moment and I panicked and I.."

"Stop" Kageyama stopped his boyfriend and he pushed a bit away from the hug and looked right at him.

"It's okay" He gazed deep into his boyfriends both eyes, reassuring him he was telling the truth.

"I saw how angry you got and.. and.. I'm sorry" Hinata looked down in shame.

"Baby, listen.. I was upset too but" He couldn't find the words. He had so much to say but the words wouldn't come out of his mouth.

"It's late we should go back to the dorm" Kageyama finally said and pulled him close again, feeling Hinata nodding against his chest. They sat there for, what felt like hours.

Kageyamas arm around his boyfriend, they walked through the night. A relationship with so much trust for one another, it's almost a bit suspicious. Hinata could betray him at any moment. But he knows he wouldn't, right? Kageyama is too blindly in love with him to know the difference. It's scary when you think about it.

"Hey, Kageyama?" Hinata looked up at him.

"Yes, sugar plum?"

"Thank you"

"I trust you Shoyo, you know I hate everyone but somehow, I tolerate you. That means something"

"I love you too Tobio" Hinata pulled the taller boy into a kiss. They kissed like they meant it, Hinata fucked up but at the end of the day, he truly loves Kageyama. Now he's is sure.

Hinata pulled him towards the door to the dormitory, but he hesitated for a moment.

"Wait, I need to do something first" Kageyama let go of Hinatas soft hand. "I'll be right back."

Hinata nodded and disappeared into the dormitory. Kageyama turned back out in the night. He headed towards Nekomas dormitory, he had someone he wanted to apologize to.

The light turned on by themselves as he went inside. The door was open due to the warm temperature, even in the night it was so warm and humid in the air, you could go with only a t-shirt on and not feel cold.

Which room was Kenmas? The hallway was empty and almost spooky at this time in the night. He gently pushed open a door to his left. He saw Levs back and his hand full of cards, not Kenmas room.

Next room was Yakus, he was washing uniforms and hanging the to dry on a line from the top of the bunk bed to the wardrobe. He met eyes with Kageyama and he spat out a quiet "What are you doing here?"

"Do you know where Kenma is?" Kageyama almost whispered back.

"Second last dorm to the left" He folded a shirt over his arm "But he's upset, I think you've done enough already" Kageyama was already out in the hallway before Yaku could finish his sentence.

Before his door. Suddenly Kageyama felt nervous, but he swallowed and knocked on the door twice. A few seconds later Kuroo opened and gave him a dirty look.
"You've done enough" he slammed the door in his face. Kageyama had heard that too many times now, two out loud and almost a million times in his head.

"I'm here to apologize" Kageyama breathed out and knocked again.
He heard a muffled "let him in" from inside and Kuroo opened the door again, same dirty look on his face but stepping aside this time.

Kenma sat in the bottom bunk hugging his knees, blood-shot eyes with bags under them, he looked like he had been crying all evening. He looked up at Kageyama with emptiness in his eyes. He looked horrible.

"Heey, Kenma, how're you holding up?" clearly unsure of how to handle the situation Kageyama approached the blonde boy. Kuroo wanted to step in so badly, Kageyama felt him glaring in his neck.

"I'm uh.. I'm fine..?" Kenma said into his knees. He didn't want to talk to Kageyama at all, Kageyama was probably the last person he wanted to talk with right now.

"Listen, I'm sorry for staring at you like that. I just, I got overly protective and, I love Hinata and-"

"I know!" Kenma shouted and both Kageyama and Kuroo froze, shocked. "I know you do and I'm just stupid!" He began crying again and he couldn't hold it back even if he tried. His face muscles were so tired they gave in to the bawl.

"You're not stupid-"

"Just because you're boyfriends doesn't mean it doesn't hurt! You have no idea what it's like to see someone you love with another guy!" Kenma hid his face in his hands, his whole body twitching as he sobbed.

Kageyama couldn't get a word out.

"I'm tired of him being so pretty and perfect and I just fall in love with him more and more every day! I'm so sick of chasing something I can't have!" He just let all his walls fall and spoke without boundaries. Kenma would never be this open and straight forward otherwise. It really wasn't like him.

"Say Kageyama.." Kenma turned to Kageyama and looked him deep in his blueberry eyes. A look of true heart-broken pain. 

"What is it like to have everything you've always wanted..?"

idfc - Blackbear