이십사[24]

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I couldn't believe I was doing this. I couldn't believe was standing in front of a door of a man I didn't even really know. And I couldn't believe why I was really here, doing this.

I pressed the bell twice and waited for a response while I crossed my arms and bounced from one leg to the other one. I heard footsteps inside. The door opened and I looked into the chocolate brown eyes of the tall man in front of me.

Hi. I said and looked at him. Jungkook? he asked confused with widened eyes. What are you doing here?

So... I laughed nervously and scratched my head. I'm just gonna call you hyung, okay? So, Jin-hyung... I sighed in frustration and looked on the ground. I need to talk with you.

Um..., okay. Then come in. he said and opened the door widely. I walked in and looked around. It was a small and welcoming apartment. It smelled like fresh coffee and mint. He guided me to a room with a couch and big windows. I guessed it was the living room.

I sat nervously on the couch and stared at ground. Was it really a good idea to come here? To a guy I didn't even really know. I knew he was befriended with Hoseok and Jimin but I was still unsure if he would answer my questions.

Do you want a coffee? Jin asked and sat in front of me on an armchair. I shook my head slightly and coughed a little bit. So. Jin said and leaned back, crossing his legs and looking at me. Whats the matter, Jungkook?

I bit my lip and gulped. I don't know... how I should say this... um... I slapped myself in my mind for being like that. I was never conservative and weird like this. I feared nothing and nobody especially not when it was about me. But why was I still feeling so uncomfortable?

You're an actor... so I thought you're good with emotions and something like this... I stumbled and looked at him. He nodded slowly but was obviously still unsure what I wanted.

I-i just have some questions. I said and sighed deeply. Then, go ahead. Jin answered and watched me curiously.

I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. My circle of emotions was normally really manageable. There were only three emotions I allowed myself to feel.

Pride.

Success.

Adrenalin.

But since a month my feelings got weird and confusing. There were feelings I couldn't even name and didn't know how to handle them. So I was here to ask Jin about them. Even if it was foolish, I was overstrained with the feelings and was slightly despaired.

There is someone... I started slowly and looked on the ground. And... I don't know but every time I see this person with someone other I feel a weird feeling in my chest... it's like a lump full of glowing anger... I don't know... it just feels so weird. I sighed.

You mean... jealousy? Jin responded and raised his eyebrows. I placed my hand on my chest and looked up. Jealousy...? I asked slowly. Y-yeah... maybe...

I coughed slightly and looked at him. And there is also something other that confused me... This person... was sad and told me something and at a moments notice I felt so sorry and bad for this person. It was so weird because I never felt like that... but as I looked into the eyes and saw the sadness... I-i don't know... but I felt guilty.

Jin nodded pensively and smirked a little bit. You cared for this person. You felt commiseration.

Commiseration... I whispered. Caring for someone... I can't care for someone. I don't want to!

Jin shrugged and gave me an apologetic look. I'm sorry but that are your feelings. he answered.

I can't! Really! I can't care for someone! What can I do against it! I don't want to feel like this! I yelled desperately and furrowed my eyebrows.

Jin sighed and looked at me. First, calm down, Jungkook. I took a shaky breath and clenched my hands into the cushions of the couch. Second, you can't control your feelings, Jungkook. If you're feeling sorry for a person it is like that. And when you care about a person you can't do anything against this feeling. You can only make the person feel better.

I looked at him in confusion and widened my eyes. Making the person feel better? I repeated slowly.

Jin nodded and smiled a bit. Yeah, if you're making a person happy you don't have to be worried about him or her. It's logical, isn't it?

I nodded slowly and leaned back. I should make someone happy so I don't have to feel bad? I bit my lip and looked at Jin. How can I do this? Making a person feel better? I gave him an expectational look.

Jin looked to the left side and seemed to think about something before he turned to me. First of all, do I know this person? he asked curiously.

I shook my head quickly and bit my lip. No... it's a girl I'm talking about. I lied nervously and hoped he didn't see my red ears.

Mh. Jin hummed in response and leaned back. Okay... so you can make her laugh when she's sad.

I'm a singer, not a comedian. I countered.

Okay, okay... then hug her. Most humans like it when they're getting a hug when they are upset.

A-a hug... I said and gulped. I should hug someone... I-i don't know if I want to...

Jin sighed and looked at me. Then make her a gift. But nothing expensive... more like a cute and small present. Like some sweets. Chocolate, Bonbons, lolly or buy her an ice cream. Or flowers. Flowers are also popular. Jin looked at me and smirked slightly. Or a kiss? he said and laughed at my shocked face. If you like her and are close to her you could give her a peck.

I don't like her! I yelled quickly and got uncomfortable at the idea to give Jimin a kiss.

Jin laughed. If you care about her you need to like her or you wouldn't feel like this.

I don't... I mumbled quietly and looked on the ground.

Whatever. Jin said and inhaled deeply. Just make her happy and you don't need to feel so weird anymore.

What are you two doing? A sudden voice asked. I turned around and spotted Namjoon who stood in the door frame and looked curiously at us. His hair was wet from showering and a towel dangled around his neck. I didn't know the two lived together.

I help Jungkook with his relationship problems. Jin said casually as if it was the normal thing in the world. N-no, I didn't come here because of that... I-i just wanted to ask something. I stuttered quickly and stood up. But we finished, so I'm going now. Thank you for helping me. I smiled at Jin and rushed through the door.

Good luck with your relationship. I heard Namjoon yelling after me.

I'm not in a relationship. I mumbled quietly to myself as I walked out of the building. My head hurt from the sudden flush of information. I gulped and leaned against the wall of the building.

I should make him happy? I couldn't even make myself happy, so how should I success by another person?

I didn't know. I really didn't know.

-,-,-,


Eomma Jin appeared :D Finally

By the way what are you thinking, you're all so silent readers ^_^ I'm just asking myself what you're thinking

I think about writing an extra chapter about Jimins past but I'm not sure yet

Anyways thank you for reading! :D

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