Living a Lie {Anakin Skywalker x Reader}

37

I walk into the apartment, expectant of Anakin to be sitting on the couch like usual, scrolling through the data pad. But instead, he was pacing around the room, hand to his chin, too embedded in his thoughts to notice me. "Anakin," I announce, hoping it would draw him away from whatever he was so thoroughly thinking about. He stopped for a moment, and I smiled, anticipating his embrace. Then he continued shuffling back and forth. Slowly, I approach him with ease.

"Love," I croak in a small voice, barely audible.

His head turns towards me, his blue eyes droopy. "You're home."

My lips twitch into a frown, worried about his behavior. The bags under his eyes were terribly deep, his blue eyes barely seemed blue at all. It was like a grey cloud that only brought sorrow and pain to those in its way. And I was directly in front of it.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, making his way towards me to wrap his arms around me. But his hold felt weak. As if the walls protecting that were him were crumbling each day.

Placing my hands on his arms, I lean out of the hug, worried now more than ever. "What is happening with you?" Though it seemed a rather crude question, it was all I could manage to ask. Something was terribly wrong, and he needed to know that it wasn't something I was going to push away.

His eyebrows furrowed, "what do you mean? I'm perfectly fine." He set his hand gently on my stomach. "Do not worry about me. You should worry about you. It is my duty to protect you and our child. Nothing will happen to you two."

"Anakin," I start, bringing his gaze back towards my eyes, "do not let these visions control you. How many time must I tell you that I am not going to die?" Releasing my grip on his arms, I placed my palm on his cheek, "I'm right here. I will always be right here. Nothing in this galaxy will be able to take me away from you. I won't let it."

Anakin's eyes flickered away from mine, anger dwelling inside of him. "You do not know that." His nose was slightly scrunched, causing little wrinkles on his nose to form. Both of his eyebrows were narrowed, and his jaw was tightly clenched. There was more he wasn't telling me.

"What else is—"

"Why did you tell Padmé?!" he burst, turning away from me. "That sneaky senator will tell the council about our child! And then I will never be able to become the rank of master, which I should already be obtaining!" His hands were in a fist, squeezing so hard that his knuckles were a pure white.

I let my mouth fall open a small bit, taken back by his outburst. "Is all you care about is whether you become master or not? Because tell me if it is, and I will leave this planet until you have nothing to worry about. Then you can have your special rank."

He spun around, his face in a scowl. Within anger, he jolts his hand foreword. My body flinches, afraid the gesture was directed towards me. But I hear a shatter, and the lamp that was keeping the living area lit was broke into shards on the floor. "You do not understand! No one does! The council doesn't believe in me, Obi-Wan doesn't believe in me, and now I get the feeling you don't believe in me either!"

A scented candle was the only source of light, the sky still a dark blue. Anakin's shadow danced around on the wall with rough edges. The lighting made his face look a pure evil. One I had never seen, nor had wanted to see.

He watched me expectantly, waiting for my response. His shoulders lifted in fell in heavy breaths. I turn away from him, "if I had not believed in you, we wouldn't be here today. Would we?" Stubbornly, I walk out of the room, sending the slide door shut with a slam. Only seconds later though, do I hear it open with a hiss, and the stomps of strides across the hallways floor.

"Forgive me," Anakin begged, spinning me around. His hand held onto mine, and he clutched it with all his strength. I wince at his grip, causing him to let go immediately. He lowered his head, "I have not been a good husband lately. I've been rude, ignorant, and selfish. But you must understand that I cannot live without you. I will stop at nothing until I know you are safe. Nothing."

I kissed his cheek gently, "that's exactly what I'm afraid of." With a sad smile, I walk off in the direction I originally was perusing. Anakin's hand tentatively reaches up to his face, letting his fingers feel the taunting ghost of my lips. The spot burned like a raging fire, sending pain all throughout him. It was a kiss that he felt would be the last he received from me.

~*~

As I open the door to my apartment, I sense a familiar presence. Looking into the room, I spot Von, sitting in the middle of the room atop a single mat. His eyes shoot open, and he hops onto his feet, a wave of guilt flooding his face. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here."

"You know this is where I live?" I raise an eyebrow, wondering how he even got in.

He blinked at me, wearing a dumb expression. "You don't live here, master. I've been staying here for over two months, and this is the first you have came by. I know this is your apartment, but you don't use it."

I had no patience for questions. Staring at him blankly, I shrug my shoulders. Walking over to the mat, I sit down in front of him. Patting down in front of me, Von sits, looking at me curiously, "where do you live, master?"

"That's not important," I respond, pushing the subject away. Before I close my eyes, I tell Von, "I'm sorry. I acted horrible earlier. You had done nothing to deserve my attitude."

"It is okay, master," Von forgives me. Though my eyes were closed, I could still see the wide grin on his face. This was the first time he had necessarily not been at fault for a situation. It brought him joy to know that I was at fault.