My Thoughts on Paper

And I Am Not Normal

Why do girls always want to be the same as everyone else? What is so appealing about looking just like any other girl who walks in the door? Where is the fun in blending in with the crowd so that no one truly sees you?

People act like they've never seen someone who enjoys life. When I step out of the bathroom stall with my headphones in, don't look at me like I'm crazy. I just love my music. And you would think people have never seen a grown woman start dancing randomly, even if there is no music there.

I remember when I went to a music educators conference with a group from my school. I was doing my shift at the booth, which was by chance set up right next to the band's. I was enjoying myself and having the time of my life and so I started dancing. Not full out dancing, but just shaking my hips and moving my arms and shuffling on my feet a little. The concert band director suddenly came over to me and said "is there music that I just can't hear?" And you know what? I actually had to pause to listen to see if I heard any music. When I didn't, I just grinned and said "I just like to dance. Even if it means I dance to the songs playing inside my head." I still don't tell if he was impressed that I was willing to be unique or worried for my mental health. Which brings me to my question.

Why are girls scared to be unique? What is so terrifying about it that has us hiding in with the crowd wearing their short dresses and leggings? What is so scary that we hide our faces behind smokey eyes and blush? Why are we so scared to be ourselves?

And more importantly, why are we scared to show that we can be ourselves?

I know some girls who dress up every Friday night and go to the parties that everyone goes to and dresses the way everyone else does and you know what? They're miserable. They complain about how long it takes them to get ready and how boring the parties always turn out to be. But me, with my Nerf blasters and Skyrim, I'm perfectly happy. BECAUSE I'M BEING ME! I stay up late gaming and roll out of bed twenty minutes before class. I put on my oversized sweatshirt and a pair of jeans and I throw my unbrushed hair in to a ponytail, and I'm fine. For heaven's sake, I run around with the boys shooting foam darts and little balls at each other, and I do something many girls wouldn't dream of.

I get dressed up for it.

I put on a skirt (with shorts underneath of course) and a tight top. I do my makeup. I put just a little foundation and powder on with just a touch of eyeshadow and black gem eyeliner. I put a little mascara on and sometimes even do my hair. Something simple, like a French braid bun, and I'm good to go. Why do I do this? It's because it throws people off. They don't understand why I get dressed up just to get sweaty and dirty, sometimes muddy and bloody too. I do it because it is my way of saying "yes, I'm a girl. See me in my glory. Now see me as a person. See me as your opponent, to be taken seriously." This is my personal statement.

And when I'm done at the end of the day, no matter what the day held, I just take a simple clothe and wipe my face off. Sometimes makeup comes off. Sometimes it's just the dust from rolling in the dirt while playing Nerf. It's all the same to me. Because no matter what comes off at the end of the day, I'm me. And I am not  normal.

Please feel free to share this with anyone who may need to hear that it's okay to be unique. We live in a society where the "norms" we fit in are what define us. It's time that thinking came to an end. We are who we are. And we are not normal.