My alarm went off at 6am which is the usual time I get up during military school. I start getting dressed by putting my running clothes on. It's pretty cold this morning so I put some sweats and a sweatshirt on with my beanie and call up Ian.
"Hey you ready?" I speak into the phone.
"Yeah, im downstairs" Ian says
"Alright" and I hang up and go downstairs.
Ian and I walk out the door and Ian stops suddenly.
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"Hey are you okay?" Ian asks
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I respond
"Well, ya know... Zoe-"
"Listen I don't give a fuck honestly. She doesn't care about me then I don't care about her..." I snap. It goes silent for a little bit and Ian awkwardly stands at the top of the steps.
"Where is she?" I ask.
"Chicago Mental Health Rehabilitation Center." Ian tells me.
"Oh, um, let's go run now" I say trying to shake off any ounce of pity or I care I have left for Zoe.
***
Ian and I just got back from our run and walk in the house.
"Carl, listen. Zoe does care about you ya know, she's just... sick I guess. She can't help her thoughts or what she says or does. Like when I went through a rough-" Ian tries explaining
"I don't care, I really don't-"
"Stop cutting me off dip shit!" Ian said smacking me across the head. "Now sit the fuck down so I can explain!"
We sit on the couch and I run my head where Ian hit me.
"Well, im waiting" I say
"A couple months ago Zoe had been done with therapy. She started talking, she didn't need medication and she said she was fine. She was normal. Then one day, Zoe's mom got shit face and came home drunk and Zoe tried helping her mom but her mom pushed her away and just started saying awful things to her, saying how it's her fault her dad passed, and her dad never loved her and saying she was basically a piece of shit. Zoe ran out and at that time I had gotten a call from a person in downtown Chicago saying-" Ian takes a breath and chokes a little bit looking like he was afraid to say the rest. "saying that there was a young girl running through the streets yelling and she had a deep cut in her eyebrow and was bleeding. So I get there and I see Zoe and she's trying to run away from us shouting "please let me go, they're coming for me. They're coming to get me" I asked Zoe what was trying to get her and that it was me Ian but she looked like she didn't remember who I was and she shouts "the demons are coming I have to go" and I had to calm her down and I told her that I could help her because I know what it's like and she said I didn't but I told her that- that they used to chase me too, but I know where to hide. She came to me and went in the back of the truck and I had strapped her down and fixed her gash. She was shaking uncontrollably, and then she told me to help her and then she started to have a seizure. I had to lay her in her side until it passed and we took her to medical. After a week she had been transferred to the mental ward so she can get help. And everyday she's been in their writing to you. She doesn't really like anyone visiting her but her sister me and lip. She's gone through a lot but I have all the letters she has written to you" Ian explains handling me a stack of letters tied together.
I couldn't wrap my head around all I've been told. Apart of me wants to see her, and the other part of me is scared what I'd find.
"I'll let you read them, and if you want to see her I'll take you. Just tell me when you're ready." Ian says and then leaves the room. I run upstairs to my room with the letters and lock the door. I stare at the stack afraid to read. But I until the knot and start with the first letter...
