twenty nine

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twenty nine

BEFORE ALL of this drama had gone down, I'd found getting ready to go out as Nightspark exciting. Almost like when you were at the cinema, watching the commercials before the actual movie. Sure, a bit boring, but you waited with patience for the actual movie to play. 

I didn't have my old suit, which was what made my heart heavy. I missed it, and feeling any sort of emotion toward an inanimate object was something I'd quit doing since I had been forced to part from my favorite teddybear when I was nine-ish. 

Instead, I was slipping into the leather suit Ethan had found for me.I put my hair up in a ponytail, which was the kind of detail no one ever bothered to mention in the movies, or TV-shows, but probably the most important one.  I didn't have a mask. 

I didn't exactly need one, either. Maybe it was about time to show my face, either way. Or maybe I was being stupid - either way I was sure the police department was working overtime to sharpen the blurred images of my face.  

Staring at myself in the mirror, I forced myself to inhale deeply. Then I exhaled, and repeated the rhythmic motion until the frantic, panicked beating of my heart calmed enough for me to hear something other than the blood rushing through my ears. 

This really would be the last fight for me - regardless of whether I made it out alive or not. I didn't need the money anymore, I'd lost the thirst for  action. The thrill went unnoticed for me. 

And I was sure Aria and Jordan were already dreaming of white picket fencing and bundles of children running across lush lawns. Maybe neighborhood barbeques, while they were at it. 

Snorting, I tightened my ponytail by pulling at the hair. 

None of that for me. 

But a small picture of me roasting chicken while Aria and Jordan chased their children across the lawn snuck into the forefront of my mind. The suburban life wasn't something I'd ever imagined for myself, even before I'd turned into Nightspark. But being denied of a possible future made me yearn for it, and that was possibly a reason to the constant irritation biting at the back of my mind. 

"Hey, Rae. You ready?" Jordan opened the door, and poked his head in. While he had a lazy half-smile on his lips, his usually tanned skin looked weirdly pale. His eyes carried the weight of his worry, and I nodded. 

Stepping away from the mirror, I headed for the door, but didn't exit straight away. Instead I stopped beside Jordan, placing a hand on his shoulder. They were tense, but relaxed when I squeezed his shoulder. 

"We might not get out of this." I said, deciding that cutting oneself on the sharp edge of honesty was better than being assaulted by the blunt edge of a sugar-coated reality later on, "Maybe we will get out of this. Maybe only one of us will, or maybe two. Either way, I promise you, Jordan-"

He swallowed when he spotted the steely determination that glazed across my eyes. 

"I promise you that I'll do everything in my power to get you and Aria out of there safe. And you know I don't go back on my promises."

"A big promise to hold. You up to the challenge?" Jordan attempted joking, but Rae heard the wobble in his voice. His hand reached up, squeezed hers. 

Then they stepped out in the hallway, where Aria and Ethan awaited them. 

Pep talk over? Aria asked telepathically, and I nodded, shooting a smile her way. 

Any luck on reading Ethan's mind? I thought back, and she frowned. 

There's something blocking it. I couldn't even read it when he slept. 

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