only takes one time

23

corrie

i wanted to cry so fucking bad at all of this everything. I went t sleep a straight a book worm studying to be a doctor and woke up a miserable mom of 4 with a crazy babydaddy who is hell bent on making her life feel like hell  and a crackhead superstar boyfriend who beats. I wish i could turn the clocks back i wish dex never came bac i wanted him to so many times when i was pregnant i wanted to be a family with him so many times but when it looked like that wasnt gonna happened i went ahead and chose the simplier route and went to Josh well i thought it was simpiler becasue being with dex meant working to hard in a realtionship. Then i see that he was only that way to me because Ana has no problem with him or maybe she get's the slight work and lives with the things ive done to make him better.

It doesnt matter the thing that matters is im unhappy everyone else is happy and im unhappy dez has her son that she loves more then life herself and a open relationship with his father the twins both sets are happy with there father Nino has always been happy dex is happy as fuck the nigga glowing with our kids and his fiance and everything hell even Josh is happy snorting shit in his nose. 

I cant sit here and be like this i cant sit here and act like im happy about not being happy i cant sit here and act like this is how i wanted my life to go i just cant when i really want a family.

there was a knock on the door and in came tez a person i thought i would never see come to my room.

"i know im the last person you want here and i could careless imma do you one favor and tell you one thing that can make you happy"

"and what would that be"

"leave"

"what how would leaving my family be the thing that makes me happy"

"go back to florida corrie you stay here and get punished for nothing so why dont you just leave be with your family out there your mother and little brother start over get your doctors lisence out there find a husband that loves you for you and have kids do things the right way."he said

"i cant-

"yes you can let Ana raise them let dex and everyone raise them being like this wont help them your only gonna lead the girls on the same path if your mind is right and you wanna comeback comeback but this this isnt"

"but-"

"i dont care about your buts as you can see Nino is the nicest out of all of us but ill let you in on a story im not from here im from arkansas that's why i dont talk like them i left when everything got rough my daughter was shot on the doorsteps my girl commited suicide because it was to much to deal with going back there means going back into pain and hurt and so i left started a new life and guess what im happy there's noting you can do for them in pain especially when you and dex can barely have a civil cnversation"

"he put you up to this didnt he he wants the kids to himself that's not even cool i knw what i did to you was dirty but that doesnt mean yall have to do me like this " i said and cried.

i was surprised when the door opened and dex walked in.

"what's wrong with you" he asked

"like you dont fucking know you bastard you want me gone that much you want the kids well do one thing and ill leave dex" i said in tears

"what are you-

"give me a child a child you wont come and take back a child that can be mines and only mines you want even know th-

"bitch what the fuck you think this is" he said and i was shocked as he and Te laughed

"you kidding right" he asked