Comforts Of The Palace {2nd Runner Up- Gem Awards}

Solace

How mornings can be so loud at times? Something that could give you new zeal can sometimes shake you to infinite pieces.

Morning, will you call it? That too when there were no risings of hopes and rays?

'Expecting me to talk of what happened since the past three days?
No I wont, what would that do?
All of us need inevitable great escapes from our ownselves. But the thought how the others would do is what hinders the track. Is it to be bound, to be compelled to ignore your own self and its wants? But tell me, how would one's ownself seek solace when he would not be able entangle the weaved feathers of his own wings of wishes? Selflessness isn't fragile, its just hard for the ones standing on the other side. Selflessness isnt an act, its a discipline and discipline maybe mandatory in sight, ensures solace. Ofcourse, where would one go decieving one's ownself?

Okay, getting back here, you see I've a habit of lecturing my ownself mentally. For those who dont know me and who pleasingly think I'm so quiet, they are totally wrong to their pleasure. I talk all time and not everyone I consider worthy enough to talk share everything I think.
I dont do that with my parents too. There are well my sisters, my brothers and Saumitra. To all others I happily stand aloof.

What are you Urmila? A talk about selflessness and then a big lecture about yourself. Why are you so distracted? Why can you not fully concentrate over a particular situation? Or better, a situation like this.'

Sumitra Mata had found her solace in Kaushalya Didi, she's great and just because she's a great human. Selflessness as I told you, is not a quality that one should be boastful about, rather selflessness brings peace to one's conscience. In a way direct or indirect, everyone leads one's own life, doing what pleases oneself.
The two spent most of their times in their world of faith and meditation; yet not completely away. And why would they be? Ayodhaya is their first child, how would the most humble queens forget it in their own grief?

I willingly took up what all I could do. Oh yes, I know I would never be able to manage everything this instantaneously that had been in our elders' care since ages but atleast I can see essential things dont miss out.

And for a little long time, things had been like this. Monotonous, indeed. Do things really change this quick or do we adapt to them rather slowly?

Ayodhaya seemed to have given up all, the businessess, the classes, the gatherings, the ceremonies and what not. Monotonous as I said.'

Moist, decieved and awake, forged, Urmila went to her Chamber. It felt nothing, not comforting as it had been. Neither prickling nor soothing and definitely not a place inviting solace. The sun ray that fell in from the open windows did not illuminate the room.

'My sisters' She thought, 'I feel so incomplete without them. I've always believed that, without fail, nothing falls apart if we four get together, things mend up on their own. I love solitude I know, it is with them whom I dont have to fake even a bit.
Laid in a closet Jiji's odhni, Mandavi Didi's earings and little Shrutkirti's bangles.
I could not help but cry, because it was void without them.'

And unknown to Urmila, a few distances apart, were things happily assumed.
Mandavi dragged Shrutkirti to the most vibrant stall that she could see.
"Mandavi Didi why are we here?"
"Because we need to be"
"But Didi you havent told it to Bharat Bhaiya, he doesnt even know we are here, what if he worries?"
"We would be back within no time. But we have to be here right now"
"Okay. Why are we here?"
"Passing by this way yesterday, this caught my eye"
Mandavi showed an article to Shrutkirti.
"And this happens to be perfect for..."
"...Sita Didi" they exclaimed in reunion, bursting out into a fit of giggles.
" Now I cant wait to return back home"
"Me as well, little one. I miss them so much"
Mandavi escaped into her sisters' memories for a fragment of time.
"Queens!"
A daasi came running to them, who was told by Mandavi to keep things well back at the Kekeya Palace.

---------

The dullness at Ayodhaya was, in an instant, broken by the marching of soldiers, the wail of horses and the sounds of some footsteps.
Urmila cursed her instinct to be this strong, they were back, all four of them were.
She had imagined the situation coming a lot times before in these days of uncertainity. And when its here, she doesnt know how she would proceed. How could she expect things to be better right when Bharat Bhaiya would arrive? What about their own grief, they'll be shattered.

---------

'Bharat Bhaiya was told Ram Bhaiya left and also what happened to Pitaji, well not what all happened with him. Simply told. No decieving, no lies, no hesitations. It would bend things again.
And as expected by us and not everyone, he collapsed, he broke.
Guilt, he could not hold. He was someone who could never even think of hurting sombody unknown without a reason and here he was, as he percieved, the cause of all the hurt done to whole of Ayodhaya.
The people ushered away their attention, the palace did not help and our mothers were still numb.
I did not know where and how Kaikeyi Ma was until that time.

It was Guruji telling him, the best person we could have to do the same but...'

'But Manthara had to come...She was no more only a daasi'

Manthara actually dragged Bharat Bhaiya to Kaikeyi Ma's chamber telling she longs to meet him.

Hard luck! This will get worse...

So I had to drag Mandavi Didi to the corridor,
"What is happening here Urmi? Why did they leave? And where are Matayein?"
She was too shocked and confused.
"Didi, Listen! This is a very long story. Go to Bharat Bhaiya and be with him, as fast as you can. It is all very complicated. Help him first. Go!"
Mandavi Didi did not seem to believe but I had to rant out whatever I could.

She hastily went, almost ran to him. I prayed it was not too late.

Now stood before me, Shatrughan and Shrutkirti. It was me again to tell them and I hated to. They were kids, little, for us.
Shatrughan would be a little tough to manage. I didn't know how Shrutkirti will react.'

"Why did they leave?"
"They had to.."
"Who compelled them? And where is Mata Kaikeyi? She had not been there with Mata Kaushalya and Mata Sumitra in the prayer hall"
"Well, Manthara did"
"Who?"
"Manthara?"
"You mean Mata Kaikeyi's maid, how can she compel Bhaiya to go to the...forest...leaving us here?" Shrutkirti inquired.
"And by the way, when will they return?" Shatrughan asked worried.
He was no more in his senses, he questioned unattentively, he asked without really trying to find an answer. He frowned and he did not feel an emotion backing it.
How breaking it must be for him to see his father lifeless, the same who had been with him joking and talking a few days back.

'I checked Shrutkirti and she was just holding Shatrughan, consoling him. My little girl, she need not be told anymore what to do and what not to. She just gets it right.'

"What should I do now?"
Shrutkirti almost sobbed.

"Why are you so worried about it? It's not such a big deal you see"
Urmila asked her.

"But I'm confused Didi."

"Shrutkirti, you confuse yourself even for trivial matters."

"But I dont do that always"

"I'm waiting to see when you don't"

"You better see, Didi"

Getting out of your comfort brings solace. Reaching another level of comfort brings solace. Yet, sometimes being in your own comfort also brings solace. Paradox is life! Or should I say balanced it is!
Time will pass, either way...bad or breaking, happening and glorious, it would all change one day. And then you would wonder, why did it all happen so soon and easy, even when you wanted it to be the said. A new way will open up, with a glimpse of past, a scar for future, a memory to look back and a way to leave, completely.

A month later...

                         ----------

*chapter unedited, yet again*
Posting just a short and simple part :)