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'And then I fell into one of these confusions again.'

"But..I don't want to go, Maa"

'Lie. I desparately want to'

"Sure? Think about it, again."

"I already did."

'Only I knew how much I wanted to be back. To Mithila, my home. But I wanted to be back in time, which would never be possible now. Though, Mithila will always be Mithila, I won't be the same again. Everytime I had to do something, trivial or inevitable, I would always long for my parent's support. It made everything easier. Everything comfortable.
And I miss that now.
But that is what I always wanted, to become independent. I know I will always have this opportunity to run back to them when I'll have nothing else by my side. And I wish, that will always be enough.

It will always be my deep desire to return to them, to everything mine. I feel I'd changed here, it was gradually expected out of me.

Seeing my parents after such a long time made me weak. Hearing their voices after so long made me nostalgic. And their concern automatically brought tears into my eyes. But I could not cry. I didn't want them to know of my feelings.

But they'll always understand. They are my parents.

And I'll stay here to make them proud.

That's it!'

Urmila never thought she really needed to tell something to her father in words. She never thought about it, but this father-daughter bond was quite unique, like her father, the great scholar Maharaj Seerdhwaj Janak is.
They could conversate with eyes. Often, Urmila was surprised how her Pitaji caught the deepest of emotions hidden somewhere in her eyes, and he wouldnt bring up that topic unless it somehow came up. However, she could not help but notice the acts of care which she felt so blessed for.
That is how she liked it, no formalities.

If there has to be one thing Urmila loved her father for, it was not how he loved her, or how supportive he was or not even how great as a Human being he was. Also, not the fact he was an able King.
But, growing up, if Urmila really admired him for, was that King Janak respected his wife more than anything else. The same reason she admired Lord Shiva for. The same reason she had found to adore in all the men in both of her families. The same which she still didnt find in many apart from them.
Like Maharani Sunaina was his wife first and then, her mother.
If there was one thing she'd always be happy about it would be that her father kept loving her mother more than he loved their children and the same goes for her mother's side.

For Maharaja Dashratha, each one of his wives was unique and yet, he could love each of them in the same extent. Be it Maharaj Dashrath and Maharani Kaushalya, or Maharaja Dashratha and Maharani Kaikeyi, or Maharaja Dashratha and Maharani Sumitra, each of them had a beautiful relationship.
Her family has always been about balance.

To all the childhood questions she had tried to search in books of all kind, 'What is the point of getting married?', time seems to answer in the most unexpected ways.

Rishiraj Janak and Maharani Sunaina were in the hall greeting Gurudev. Urmila had no idea whether to go to them first or check on the mothers or see what is the scenario with Bharat and Mandavi or look if Shatrughan and Shrutkirti might need to talk to someone elder?

She cursed the inefficiency of her brain.
'I dont like to be standing here doing nothing.'

Then it struck her, obviously Shatrughan and Shrutkirti would be with the mothers.

She was angry and frustated, neither with somebody nor her own. Just that she hated it all. She didnt want her people to go away from her. But Pitaji did. Each second, she was afraid of losing somebody near and dear. She knew she could never keep everyone to her own. She'd never imagined dealing with such a death. She hated it she wasnt powerful enough to not let him go. She felt as if she was the most helpless creature in whole of this world.

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