Player [DISCONTINUED]

•9•

Sex. That's all they've been having. That three letter word is the epitome - the meaning of Lauren and Normani's relationship. There is no such thing as 'love' in their relationship. It just feels empty. An empty space that Lauren cannot fill because she knows that Normani doesn't want to fill it. She knows that the girl harbors no love for her. She is only viewed as a simple possession that is disposable at Normani's fingertips. Yet, she continues to stay because she hopes that she can change Normani's view of her and the others.

But it's unhealthy.

It's an unhealthy relationship that they have. Lauren knows that she depends on Normani too much, that she sexes with Normani too much, that she does everything with Normani too much. And it hurts, because Lauren wishes that their relationship was different. She wants there to be dates and romantic notes, anniversaries and holidays spent together. She just wants to watch the stars with Normani, their fingers entwined together. She wants Normani to play with her hair like she always does, watching the stars.

But that's too good to be true.

And in reality, Normani has no hopes of finding love one day. But Lauren cannot help the way her heart flutters every time she lays eyes on the beautiful goddess that she wishes she could call hers. The way her fingers trail up Normani's abs and trace the tattoo that she has on her stomach. The way Normani's skin feels when she touches it. When she kisses her neck - not even in a sexual way - she loves the feeling of her chocolate skin in her mouth. It's just surreal.

So Lauren packs her bags, texting Veronica that she's coming over. Normally she'd text Normani about her whereabouts, but she doesn't this time. The goal is to take a few days off from the toxic relationship that she's built with Normani. And in the back of her mind, she wants the older girl to run to Veronica's door, confessing the hidden feelings she's had for Lauren all this time. But that cold stature that she has makes it almost impossible.

Veronica helps Lauren with her bags, taking them without saying a word. Veronica respects Lauren's silence, since she knows she would only get one word answers out of the Latina anyway.

They drive in silence, pulling up to Veronica's condo in the city. A bellboy helps to bring Lauren's bags up to the apartment, taking the suitcase under his arm. The boy looks vaguely familiar, but Lauren ignores him. The only thing she's worried about is Normani coming to find her. The girl is very frightening when things don't go her way.

And so Lauren cries.

The bellboy is startled, and he bolts out of the elevator when the door opens. He doesn't want to be involved in drama. Veronica wraps a comforting arm around her crying friend, wiping the tears with her thumbs.

Lauren starts to regret. She regrets ever coming to Norwood in the first place. She knows that she could've had a better relationship with Lucy had she tried harder. But Lucy wasn't enough. So Lauren searched far and wide to find the right girl to make her happy, but she hasn't found her yet.

Sure, Normani makes her happy, but not in the correct way.

What about Veronica? Lauren thinks. She knows Veronica likes her, besides the fact that they're really good friends. Veronica would've been more warm and open, more accepting and more romantic. But she just had to fall for the wrong person at the wrong time. And Veronica had known this for a while now, but she chose to stay quiet. Her friend needed to figure it out herself.

When Lauren and Veronica get to the condo, Lauren collapses in the guest bedroom. She cries, the sound muffled as she covers her face with a pillow. All Veronica can do is sit there rubbing her arm, trying to tell her it'll all be okay.

But it never was.

* * *

Three days had passed since Lauren had left on Friday. Her phone had blown up with text messages from Normani. All of them said the same thing: where the hell are you? get your ass back here. I want you back here now. Lauren didn't answer them on purpose. She wanted Normani to text her something like 'I miss you' or 'I need you'. But those texts never came, and they will never exist in their relationship.

There's loud knocks on the door. Lauren's brow creases as she walks to the front door, unlocking it. Veronica had gone out to run some errands for a bit, but Lauren didn't expect her to be back so soon. So she opens the door, assuming that her friend is back.

She's wrong.

Lauren is flustered, baffled, frightened, and just plain shocked. She was never expecting Normani to show up at her - Veronica's - door unannounced. She doesn't move. She just stands there with her jaw slacked and her face drained of whatever color it had in it.

"What are you doing here?" Lauren finally manages.

"I came to get you," Normani answers bluntly. "Pack your stuff and lets go."

"No," Lauren felt a rush of adrenaline after she said that word. It felt good to stand up for herself for a change. The glowering and smoldering look that Normani was giving her said otherwise.

"What did you just say?" Normani growls, her fists balling.

"I-I said no," Lauren states.

"How dare you?" Normani hisses. "How dare you speak to me that way?"

"You aren't my mother," Lauren defies, her chin up. "I can say what I please."

"No," Normani orders. "You cannot say what you please. Didn't I tell you to listen to me?"

"This relationship is so fucking unhealthy," Lauren ran her fingers through her hair. Normani is taken aback.

"Unhealthy?" She echoes.

"Unhealthy," Lauren repeats. "All we do is fuck and sleep."

"Did you expect something else?" Normani cocks her head to the side.

"I shouldn't have," Lauren cries, trying to keep the tears from falling down. But she can't stop them. "You're just a coldhearted bitch who treats every woman that walks into her life as a fucking possession! News flash, I am not yours and nor do I belong to you. I am Lauren fucking Jauregui and what I say shall not be filtered because you don't like it." Normani steps back, feeling like she's been slapped in the face. She's never seen Lauren this angry.

"So forgive me," Lauren yells. "If I need a got damn break from this toxic relationship you and I have. I shouldn't have to be treated like a toy that's at your disposal. I am a human being, not a sex object."

"W-W..." Normani couldn't form any words. She blinked twice, surprised. She's never looked at it that way.

"Do you not like it?" She inquires. "Is the sex not good enough?" Lauren rolls her eyes.

"Is that all you can think about?" She hollers. "Sex? I never said it was bad, it's just empty. It's legit two people fucking with no intimacy."

"I'm sorry if I have no feelings towards you," Normani gives a hushed reply, but Lauren heard it. She felt her heart break into tiny little pieces, her world falling apart.

"Go away," She cries.

"Lauren wait-" Lauren shakes her head.

"I said go away Normani!" She shouts. "Fuck you! Get away from me you heartless bitch!" The door is slammed shut. Normani had raised her hand to the stop the door, but she let it trail down the oak wood. She sank down to her knees, feeling a strange sensation. Were those, tears? She lifted her hands up to her face, wiping the water droplets. Why was she crying? It's true, she never had felt anything for Lauren, but she just let her slip right through her fingers.

Lauren, on the other hand, is sobbing uncontrollably on the other side of the door. This was exactly what she didn't want, but her worst nightmare had come true.

Normani doesn't like her.

But she likes Normani.

The world hates her, and she's come to accept that. Why did she even think that somebody as cold and as unsympathetic as Normani would reciprocate feelings toward her?

It was all a lie.