Too Broken

chapter thirteen

One month later

Nick's POV

I was lost. Really lost. Hope left after her mother died. I didn't know what to do. I think I had almost lost my mind but until someone helped me. I was shocked to say at least. But you can never judge someone before you know them. She helped me. She didn't take no for an answer. She was persistent in making me happy. I eventually fell in love with her. Everyday I ask myself, what would Hope think when she returns? If she returns. She is going to be angry. Hurt and sad.

I couldn't deal with her leaving. She left me like everyone else did. She was the only constant that I knew cared for me. But she left. After things didn't go according to her plan, she left me high and dry. I understand she wanted space. But did she have to leave the country?

"Where's your mind wondering off to?" Chelsea asks. "I'm just thinking of Hope, when she will returning and stuff." I reply.

Chelsea helped me, I know this is wrong. But she gets me.

After I found out that Hope's mother died. I immediately rushed over to her house. I didn't even bother knocking, I quickly ran up the stairs to find a very sad and broken Hope.

Her eyes was bloodshot red, make up smeared all over her face. I didn't know what to do. How to comfort her? When my father died, no had comfort me. I was left alone. I lost myself, while my mother lost herself as well. Fuck, I don't want Hope to go through the same shit as I did. She has to believe that I'll be there for her. Till infinity.

I cuddle myself next her. She is fucking shaking so much. It hurts me to see her like this. She grabs a hold of me as if I'm going to run away. I won't, I never will. I love her too much to run.

"I'm so sorry Hope, I don't know what to do. But I'll be here for you. When you need me, I'll come running." that was all I could think of.

"I know, I know. But something bad always happens to me. No one wants me to be happy. No one. It's like my life was meant to fall apart. Piece by piece. I don't know what to do." She starts crying even more. Shit, all I want to do is to take her tears away. But all I can do, is be here for her.

We rise to bed, as we cuddle up. Hope cried for what seemed like forever. Until she finally stopped. She fell asleep, fuck. Why the fuck does things like this always happen to her. Hope deserves all the happiness in the world. She is beautiful. She cares so much that it breaks her in the end.

I find myself falling asleep, cause my eyes feel heavy and all I can whisper to Hope is... "Till infinity, Hope. I promise."

I awoke to no warmness beside me. Nothing but a cold place next to me. I scan the room to look for Hope. But she is no where to be seen. I roam around the house to see if she is some where. But she's gone. All the thoughts are running wild through my mind. Where the fuck could she be. I run back up stairs to her room. I find a letter on her cabinet. Fuck, what has she done now. Don't tell me she left? She can't leave me.

I slowly open the letter. I don't know what to expect.

Dear Nick

I know this is selfish, but I have to leave. I can't stay here. I'm thinking of travelling to Africa to help those who are starving. I'm hoping that I'll do good there. Since I never did good here. I just hope you understand.

I know you'll probably be broken after this, but I need to get away. I need to find myself. I need to know who Hope is. I need to know who she is without her father, without her mother. I'll come back. For you. Only for you. I just hope that you will feel the same when I return. I don't know long I will be staying overseas. But I just hope you'll understand.

Don't find me please, go on with your life. Fall in love with someone that won't break you as much as I did. But I hope not. Cause I love you Nick. I really do. I wanted to tell you that before I found my mother was in an accident. Maybe it wasn't meant to be, maybe it was. We will have to see in the future.

I hope this is enough for you. Enough for you to move on. Till then, I'll be finding myself. Stay the way you are. Stay awesome.

Nick, I love you. Always will.

Till infinity

Your love

Hope

After I found that letter all I could do was crawl up and and cry. I hated crying.

I walked home, I was probably walking really slow. Cause Chelsea stopped when she saw me.

"What the fuck do you want, Chelsea?" I asked, I was not interested in anything she had to say.

"I heard about Hope's mother and I heard about about Hope, that she left. I was just driving around when I saw you. I'm here to help. I know you don't like me, but I'm not the bitch everyone preserves me to be." She explains.

That's pretty much it. She helped me after that. I fell in love with her. I hate myself for that. But I can't control my feelings, I never could. But I can't help but feel a little bit empty, a little whole inside me. It's strange, sometimes I think it's Hope that makes my life complete. 

We arrive at school and I see a familiar Ferrari in the parking lot. It can't be, it can't be Hope. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I wanted to run for the hills but I had to face her one day or the other. Chelsea sees the car and her eyes widen of shock. This the last thing we expected to happen today. I guess the feeling is mutual. I don't know what the fuck to expect. Does she still love me? Will she question me loving Chelsea? I still love Hope, very much. But fuck, I'm torn between two girls. What the fuck should I do? This is a fucking disaster. This fucking sucks. Big time. Chelsea leaves a kiss on my cheek as I'm gathering my thoughts. I walk onto the school premises, anxious as ever. All I'm thinking is - fuck, fuck, fuck!

I feel someone hugging me from behind, I'm scared to turn around. "Oh Nick, I've missed you so much." I can't believe it, it's really Hope.

I turn around slowly, she is even more beautiful than before. Her eyes shine brighter. She looks great. Even smells like flowers. I must be dreaming.

"Is it you Hope?" Is all I can ask.

"Yes, it's me. Do I look like a baboon?" she laughs. "Uh- of course not." I have nothing to say. It seems that words can not describe the way I'm feeling right now.

"What's wro-" she stops in mid sentence. Chelsea comes to kiss me on the lips. Fuck, what's happening? God, are you playing tricks on me?

"Nick, is this what I think it is?" Hope says with tears in her eyes.

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You probably hate Hope for leaving? You probably hate Nick for falling in love with Chelsea? The witch. Tell me what you think.

Vote, comment and share.

Till infinity, my love.