Falling in Love Backwards

Slow Burn

"What're you doing for Valentine's Day?"

I looked up from my work table to Jen, who was holding Luna.

"It's Kade's turn to plan the date and he hasn't said anything yet." I shrugged and went back to kneading the dough for the bagels I was making.

"But it's in two days!" She exclaimed rather loudly. Luna frowned and started crying from the noise. "Sorry, sis."

I rolled my eyes as she soothed my daughter. Luna was a good baby, and hardly ever cried unless someone yelled to close.

"I know. I'm letting him take the lead this time, and I don't really care about Valentine's Day anyway. It's a stupid holiday. Why do we need a holiday to tell us to appreciate our significant others. Shouldn't we always appreciate them?"

"You're just saying that because you've never had anyone to spend valentines with."

"Maybe," I muttered turning my back to her. "but I still think it's ridiculous."

***

I was cleaning up for the day, eager to get home to my baby girl and my bed. It had been a long day and I was ready for my weekend to start. I heard the door open and looked up to see Kade come through grinning like a fool.

"Alright! I've made up my mind." He exclaimed giving me that infuriating smirk of his.

"About?" I sat the broom aside and began untying my apron.

"Valentine's Day!" He said happily reaching for me, pulling me close to kiss me.

"And what if I don't have that day off?" I asked petulantly, knowing that I did I fact have that day off.

"Ah, but you do. I checked with Faye first." Well, he's thorough if nothing else.

"Alright you win. What's your grand plan?" I smiled and pulled away from him to continue cleaning up.

"Ma will watch Luna for us, and that's all I'll tell you for now. Just be ready at 7pm. I'm taking you to dinner first."

Kade snuck a kiss when I looked up to frown at him. He smiled so warmly that my frown melted and I conceded.

"Okay."

"Good, see ya then." And kissed me again before leaving just as abruptly as he had come.

***

7 o' clock came all to quickly. Even though we had been on several other dates, I was always unrelentingly nervous every time.

Kade pulled up to the house. I watched from the window as he climbed the porch stairs. He was very handsome in his fitted trousers and crisp button down shirt, his hair combed just so making me want to mess it up.

He walked through the door before I could open it.

"I clean up good, don't I?" He grinned, and as handsome as he looked I still wanted to punch him for some reason.

"I think you're supposed to compliment your date, not yourself." I laughed, turning to pick up my purse.

"You always look so uncomfortable when I compliment you, but if that's the case I'm happy to comply."

Kade pulled me into his arms and kissed my head. It felt nice to just be held like that.

"You don't have to, I was just trying to be difficult." I murmured against his chest, snaking my arms around his waist and pull him closer wanting to prolong this simple act of affection.

"Yes I do. I should tell you every day how beautiful you are. How strong you are. How much I love seeing you holding our daughter, and that I love the way you laugh. . ."

"Stop. You'll run out of compliments, and then what will we have to talk about?" I laughed softly, so content in his embrace.

"I'll never run out of ways to tell you that I love you, but I'll stop for now." He pulled away and took my hand, reaching up with the other to wipe away a tear that I hadn't realized had fallen or why it had. "We need to get to the restaurant."

Kade always could invoke strong reactions from me. Good and bad. Like the love and safety I felt in his arms, and the fear I felt for my heart. He could either build me up or tear me down just as easily.

***

Our date was lovely. Nothing terribly extravagant, which was nice, and when he dropped me at home I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

"Would you like to come in for a bit? I don't have to pick up Luna until tomorrow and I would prefer not to be alone."

"I would like that." He turned off the truck and we climbed up the stairs together.

The house was cold, so I asked Kade to light the fireplace.

I returned from changing into a cozy sweater and getting us something to drink, to find Kade still fighting with the fire.

"I'll be damned if I'm bested by a fireplace." He muttered to himself.

"Do you want me to comeback later? Or are you ever going to get it lit?" I laughed setting the glasses down on the coffee table.

"Nope, I've got this." He said proudly, turning back to frown at the logs stubbornly refusing to be lit.

"Uh huh, famous last words." I sat on the sofa to watch. Kade rolled up his sleeves revealing toned forearms and an enviable tan.

He fiddled with it for another 10 minutes before growing frustrated and excusing himself to the bathroom. I giggled as I lit the fire using old newspaper and a little lighter fluid. He refused to comment about the fire when he came back, just put his back to it and reached for his drink.

"I've had a nice night."

"It's not over yet." Kade leans down to kiss me, his lips meet mine so softly as though he's afraid to scare me away. Which it very possible could have. "I love you, Paige."

"I want to say it back, Kade. I really do." I whisper against his lips, our breaths mingling.

"Then say it." He kisses me deeply without waiting for me to speak.

"I think I loved you once, then you broke my heart. It'll take some more time before I can say it and it be truth."

"I can wait. I've waited this long, I'm not going to give up now." He laughed lightly, pressing soft kisses along my jaw.

"Kade wait, there's something I need to tell you. I've never told you this but I think that I should." I said, the fire light casting shadows on his handsome face. Making his features sharper.

"I don't know all your secrets yet?" He laughed lightly, a soft smile still on his lips.

"Not this one." I said solemnly. "In high school and even up until last year, I was in love with Duke."

There was a silence for a moment until Kade laughed. He threw back his head and laughed a full body laugh.

"What's so funny?!"

"I'm sorry, but I already knew. Hell, everyone knew except Duke. That's why I was so slow to make a move, because I knew you wouldn't have said yes. Not until you were over him."

"That's why you waited until the wedding, isn't it?" I asked and Kade looked sheepish then.

"Yeah, I knew that it was my chance. Duke was out of the running, but I fucked up. I started drinking for courage and then I was too drunk to do it the right way. I just knew that I wanted you more than anything. I've loved you for what feels like forever. I'm sorry that I didn't do this the right way.

You're supposed to fall in love, get married, and then have kids. Now everything's out of order and messed up."

"We never could do anything the right way, Kade, and I can't be too mad at you for what happened. I got a perfect baby out of this mess.

. . .and someday I hope that we can be in a place to give her a sibling." I could see the moment when my words finally sunk in.

"I would like that very much, but let's do it the right was next time. Marry me someday?" He asked pulling me into his lap.

"I certainly hope to." I kissed him then, content for now.