The long Goodbye

I want too go home now

As i said in the previous chapter nans memory was getting worse,she also cried an awful lot now it was heartbreaking too watch,I wish I could of not seen half of what I did,maybe then I still wouldent get upset now three years later but I was by her side through the good and the bad times no matter what.

I remember it was my nieces birthday I think it was her sixth birthday,and she adored my nan her "granny"obviously all the family would be there and nan was always at any birthday party's in the family so my uncle brought her and we told my uncle to go back home and we would look after nan,he could have a break for a few hours so off he went home and nan was with my parents and myself and two sisters and nans five great grandchildren.

Nan was okay at first and my niece was over the moon to have her at her party we were bringing her food that she wasn't really eating,she was mainly picking at it,I noticed her mood changed and she was sat playing with her fingers and Just staring at the floor or looking round the room,when she would do this my heart would hurt honestly it would because she looked so sad and alone yet she wasn't she was with her family like she had always been but this is how she was now.

She was like a scared little child,that's the only way I can describe it,she was scared of everything,she kept saying she didn't want to stay at the party anymore and said she wanted to go home she started to cry,my dad her son had struggled with nans dementia from the start he couldn't handle it and after hearing her cry and seeing her distressed I then found him leaning over the kitchen counter sobbing his heart out whilst my mother was comforting him,it was so hard seeing my dad cry,he was crying in one room as nan was crying in the other I just wanted to scream this Cant be happening this is so unfair!.

My uncle had to come back to take nan home,she didn't stay long really,but she was happier as she was sat in the car ready to drive off with my uncle,my little niece then started crying because she was sad her granny had been so upset and she had not wanted her to leave so soon,I never thought my nan would ever want to leave a party where her family was and not want to be with us but again it was the dementia doing this,before the dementia nan would of been the life and soul of that party,how quickly things change hey.

On what should of been a happy day my nieces birthday there we all were waving nan off we all had heavy hearts and tears in our eyes and then on entering the house there was my dad still crying saying "why"?"why" her? why my mam she has never hurt a soul in her life!,he was angry then and he still is now and I think he always will be to be honest,we will never get over it I don't think you can,life moves on but you never forget............how can you forget that dark intruder that enters your life and snatches your loved one right in front of your eyes.