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Chapter Thirty

Wrapped in cotton sheets and Rhys, I am woken by the sound of his bedroom phone. He too, quickly jumps at the sound of it. In the darkness, he stretches across the bed to reach the startling phone that continues to ring on his bedside table. "Yeah." He groggily answers, sounding positively peeved.

Lifting my weary head, I glance over at his clock to find out the time; 4:22 AM. Not fully awake, I lie my head back down on the pillow and listen to the unfolding telephone conversation.

"How?" Rhys quietly asks, running his tired fingers through his hair. "Didn't anyone see her?" He leans further forward, his voice growing more and more agitated by the second. "Mom, just stay calm...I'll come right over." Turning on the bedside light, he winces at its brightness illuminating the room. "Please, don't worry." He's now opening his wardrobe, pulling out the first clothes that come to hand. "We'll find her, okay?" He glances across at me as he throws his clothes down onto the bed, showing me with his eyes that things are certainly not okay. "Listen, I'll be there soon. Bye." Hanging up, he then sits unnervingly still and quiet on the side of the bed.

"What's happened, Rhys?"

My afraid voice seems to drag him back from wherever he was, pulling his slumped shoulders back, he starts to quickly get dressed. "Maci is gone. She snuck out the back so no one saw her leave." When he speaks, it's almost on auto-pilot. "I have to go."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Reaching across the messy bed, he kisses my forehead real quick. "No, go back to sleep."

"I won't take long to get dressed." I say, offering him my support for the second time.

Rhys looks at me firmly. "Clara, it's fine...just go back to sleep." He doesn't mean to sound so short with me, he is quietly consumed with worry and sickening concern for Maci. So I say nothing but smile at him. Of course I won't sleep, I'll just lie here and also worry. I'll also lie here and actually feel angry and disappointed with Maci for all that she keeps putting her family through. Hell, if she were here, I would actually want to slap her. "I'll see you later." Rhys sadly smiles back at me, then is quickly gone from the room with hurried and determined strides.

No, I certainly won't sleep.

I will stew in juices of bitter dismay for Maci and despondent pity for Rhys and his mother.

Sleep, that will be the farthest thing from my mind.

**

The morning just hopelessly dragged and dragged. I eventually got up and showered. In silence, I ate my breakfast that was reluctantly going down. Every small bite of my toast seemed to take longer and longer to chew and to swallow. I was sick with worry. I'd heard absolutely nothing and I knew better than to hassle Rhys with my worrying calls or texts. I knew he would call if he had any news. If I hadn't been so worried, it would have been the perfect time for me to think things over about my decision to stay or to go, but in light of everything else, it almost seemed a trivial thing to have to think about—so I didn't. I kept myself busy by having a swim, watching some TV, sitting out in the peaceful atrium, having a lone game of pool. All that time by myself had me strangely feeling homesick. I had too much time to think about my life back in London. Meeting Carol and seeing just how devoted a mother she is, has me appreciating my own so much more. Now it's the afternoon, I have a strong urge to call my mum, just to hear her familiar and faraway voice. So I do. With homesick fingers, I eagerly dial her number and impatiently wait for her to pick up.

"Hello?" Is the voice that I've been so desperate to hear.

"Mum, it's me."

"Clara! Oh, it's so good to hear from you, love. How is it over there? Is that young man looking after you?"

Her motherly tone is music to my lonely ears. The way she talks about Rhys brings a faint smile to my straight mouth. "We are in Porter Ranch now, Mum. We left the cabin a few days ago because Rhys needed to get back to LA." If only I could tell her the real reason. If only I could tell her everything about Maci, how much it is ripping Rhys and his mum apart...but I can't.

"Ooooo, you're in LA?" Mum sounds super excited, which makes me only miss her more.

"It's lovely out here, pretty warm and sunny for the time of year, I've been spending a lot of time by the pool." I keep on talking, anything but about Rhys's family. It would just feel like I was betraying Rhys if I tell my mum all about what is sadly happening. He is so very private about his personal life, I have to respect that. "I haven't as yet seen much of Porter Ranch as we're still keeping things under wraps about us, but from what I have seen, it's really lovely."

"It's probably best for the time being, love." Mum sweetly agrees.

Now more than ever, I feel regretful for all the times I have taken my mum selfishly for granted. Being as independent as I am, I have always just got on with things and in my own and very stubborn way. I was much more of a daddy's girl and my brothers have always been proper mummy's boys. So when dad died, I just carried on getting on with things in my own and fiercely independent way. I realise now, that was wrong. Mum has been low on my priority list for longer than she ever should have been. Being so far away from her now, and feeling slightly out of my depth over here, I miss and need my mum so very much. "I love you, Mum." How I feel literally tumbles out of my mouth, shaky and emotional.

Mum sounds equally as emotional. "Oh, Clara...I love you, too."

"I bet you didn't ever think I would get homesick, did you?" I'm laughing through my unexpected tears, trying to stop more from falling.

"No, I didn't." Mum brightly replies. "Are you really okay, Clara?" Her voice is warmly maternal with a little dusting of concern and suspicion.

I wish I could tell her that I have a feeling of dread weighing me scarily down. That no matter what I do to rid myself of the heavy feeling, it constantly remains with me. "I'm just missing you, that's all." I eventually say, keeping the truth very much to myself.

"Is Rhys not with you?" Mum casually probes.

"No, he's had to go out for a bit."

"Right." Mum's voice is now warily strained. "Could you not go with him?" I know she's really digging now, she is sensing something is up and now she's trying to find out what it is.

"I decided to stay here so I could swim and do a spot of sunbathing." My lie is lightly and guiltily said.

"You haven't had an argument, have you?" Mum sounds so serious and protective down the telephone line.

"No, Mum...we haven't had an argument." I freely tell her, smiling out at nothing because it's the truth.

Relieved to hear that, Mums voice instantly brightens. "Good!" Then in the background, I hear mum's loud doorbell. "That will be Sylvie, we're off to do a spot of shopping." I can hear her walking out to the front door and opening it to her longtime best friend. "Will you call me once you're back home, Clara? I'll make us all a lovely Sunday roast when you are." She's wrapping up the call real quick now because Sylvie has arrived.

"I will, Mum. Have fun shopping. I love you."

"Love you too."

The heaviness in my heart just got a whole lot heavier the moment that I hung up on mum. I was alone, trying to make sense of why the heaviness was even there. Did my feeling this way, mean that I could never leave my family, my home, my job...for Rhys?

Walking through his empty yet very beautiful home, I wondered whether I really could be settled and happy here. I wanted to talk about all of these things with Rhys, but he wasn't here to talk to. So after calling my mum, I succumbed and tried to get hold of Rhys. It was just the one time and I was unsuccessful. Which only deepened my dread. Something was wrong, I just knew it. Rhys has been gone for hours and hours without any form of contact from him. If I knew where to go, I'd even consider going for a walk, but decide against it as my sense of direction is pretty useless. I would more than likely end up getting lost and that would only add to Rhys's stress and make me look like a complete and utter fool.

So I decide to keep on waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting some more.