Don't Give Up

I'm fine

Stevie had been quiet for some time, sitting in the sun in the backyard, with her eyes closed, while Zack was currently being chased around by Tim and Peanut, the boys laughing heartily.

"You're somewhere else." Mark spoke softly, not wanting to startle her.

Stevie nodded, sighing. "I am. I'm thinking." She added, opening her eyes and taking her iced tea.

"May I ask what about?"

"About everything. About this one huge mess."

"I wish I knew how to help you." Mark said, his voice barely above a whisper, due to Julia being somewhere in the house. He took Stevie's hand, keeping their clasped hands low. 

"I think I'm the only one who can help me, but I don't know how. Julia says that I gave up. Well... Yes, okay, I admit it. I gave up, but it's not like I didn't care from the start and left Lindsey alone. I tried, didn't I? I'm sure many would disagree, but when a man, whom you've been married to for over twenty years, yells at you to get out of his sight, to not come visit him, when he clearly needs me... I probably sound selfish, but it's painful. Yes, it's Lindsey, who's hurting more out of the two of us, I understand, but am I suppose to ignore my feelings?"  

Mark didn't want to sound insensitive, but... "I think that you're doing the opposite. Nobody says that you've suddenly stopped being human or that you can't hurt, but I think that... that you're too concentrated on how you feel about this situation."

"Excuse me?" Stevie quickly fixated her eyes on Mark, taking her hand away from touching his.

"Please, don't get me wrong, Stevie, but it's Lindsey who had that surgery, who suffered a stroke and is unable to walk. I can only imagine how he feels. Suddenly, the simplest things in life are taken away from him. He can't play with your son, he can't just get up in the morning and go to the bathroom or take a shower, go and make himself a cup of coffee... anything you can think of, Stevie."

"So, you're on his side now?"

Sighing, Mark shook his head, trying to grasp Stevie's hand gently again. "I'm not on anyone's side. I'm your friend, Stevie, and I want to help you somehow. It hurts me seeing you like this. You're so focused on how you feel, you're so focused on yourself, you're only going to make yourself worse. I want you to try and see how Lindsey might be feeling. In no way am I defending his actions, because there will never be a reason for him to push you away, to hurt you with words or actions. I understand that you're angry at him, but I think you owe him to see things from his point of view."

Stevie sat stunned by what she was hearing. She realized Mark wasn't completely wrong, she just didn't expect him to voice his opinion to her. 

"Please, don't be mad at me, that's not what I wanted by being honest with you." Mark sounded as if he was pleading.

"I just..." Stevie began, but she trailed off, unsure of how to end her sentence. "Will you watch over the boys? I need to be alone for awhile." She said and stood up quickly, but instead of entering the house, Stevie didn't take one step, closing her eyes, she took in a sharp breath.

"Stevie?" Mark stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders, making sure she was steady. "What just happened? Are you in pain?"

"Um... no." She shook her head. "No, I'm fine. I just got a little dizzy."

"Maybe it's best if Tim and I get going, you should lie down." Mark said, asking Tim to come over, explaining that it was time for them to leave. "Will you be alright?"

"Yes, yes I'm just fine." Stevie insisted, accompanying them to the door. 

"You don't look so good. You've gone pale." Mark was still concerned. 

"She's going to be taken good care of." Julia appeared out of nowhere, hugging her mother around the middle. "I'm sure there is no need for you to be worried." She spoke to Mark very curtly. 

Mark's eyes settled on Stevie's again for a minute, before she told him to go. Once Julia shut the door, she turned to Stevie, getting a better look at her. "What happened out there? You don't look well."

"I'm not exactly well." Stevie shook her head. "I'm just stressed and a little upset. I stood up too fast and got dizzy and a little nauseous."

Pressing her palm against Stevie's forehead, Julia said. "You don't seem to have a fever."

"Well, of course not, Jules. I'm okay. I need to lie down, however."

Nodding her head, Julia assisted Stevie to bed, helping her get under the covers. "I'll bring you a glass of water." She went to the bathroom, asking from there. "What about your head? Do you have a headache?"

"No, Julia. I'm fine." Stevie repeated herself once again, gladly accepting the glass of water, downing it in a couple of big gulps. "Thank you."

"Try and get some sleep. Call me if you need anything, I'll be somewhere close by."

"Mhm, okay." Stevie mumbled her response, her eyes already feeling heavy. 

Taking another look at her mother, Julia left the bedroom, closing the door quietly. What happened? Was it something Mark said or did? What could have triggered this reaction?