Shock

-40-

My mouth was dry, my chest was tight. I couldn't move, and neither could he, apparently. He was staring at me, eyes wide, mouth agape. He looked different from when I'd last seen him, which makes sense, I guess. It had been six years. His nicely tailored suit and skinny, grey tie strongly contrasted his face. He had a slight stubble and bags under his eyes, making him look a lot older than the twenty-two years I knew him to be. He opened and closed his mouth several times, and I could see the wheels in his head turning. His eyes looked me up and down at least a dozen times, and I'm sure he was thinking the same as I was.
Why is he here?
Nathan was staring at us. I could feel it.
"Charlie?" He asked. His voice was hesitant.
"What's going on?"
I didn't answer. Mostly because I didn't know the answer myself.
Greg seemed to have suppressed his shock enough now, because he finally spoke up.
"Charlie I-"
"What are you doing here?"
He had something to do do with this. The thought ran through me like a tidal wave. I didn't want it to be true, but I knew there wasn't really any other explanation.
Why else would he be in the Atkinson & Coles building? Why would he be wearing a suit and tie if this wasn't his workplace? Why would he look so guilty if he hadn't done anything wrong?
He opened his mouth, closed it again, and eventually said: "It's a long story."
"A long st- Greg, you were gone for six years! Of course it's a long story!"
Nathan turned to me after hearing my brother's name. He didn't say anything, though I could tell he was full of questions. They'd have to wait.
"I know, it's just... It's complicated." Greg said.
I scoffed.
"So you work for Atkinson & Coles now?"
He stepped closer.
"Charlie-"
"Tell me!"
I was furious. Because he was here. Because, even though he hadn't said it, I knew he had played a part in the events of the last couple of days. Because of what had happened all those years ago. Because had hurt me again.
He was quiet for a while. He kept inching closer, but I stayed, frozen.
The shock still hadn't left my body and I couldn't do anything but stare and yell.
When he was less than a feet away from me, he put both hands on my shoulders. I flinched, but I didn't pull away.
"Look at you," he whispered.
"You're all grown up."
"Yeah, well, that tends to happen when you abandon a person for six years."
My words stung. I could see the tears in his eyes. Good.
"I truly am sorry." he said.
I rolled my eyes.
Sorry wasn't going to cut it. Not now. Not anymore.
"You know I never meant to hurt you."
I shook my head.
"I don't, actually. Because if you don't mean to hurt a person, you usually don't leave them alone when they need you the most."
He tried to interrupt me, but I wasn't done talking.
"You don't leave an eleven year old kid with two hospitalized parents, Greg! Do you know what it was like, the first few months?"
I was getting angrier by the second.
"Of course you don't, you weren't there. Well, let me tell you. It was torture. Dad could barely stay conscious for more than two minutes and I didn't know if mum would ever even wake up."
I tasted salt in my mouth and realized tears were streaming down my face. I was angry at myself for getting so upset again after all those years, but I couldn't help it. After seeing Greg, my walls had crumbled down in an instant, and every single thought and emotion poured out of me.
I could feel his hands squeeze my shoulders at the mention of our parents.
"Are they okay?"
I was confused. So much so that for a second, I forgot to be angry at him.
"What do you mean? You've talked to them since the accident, they told me."
He shook his head.
"No, I mean now. After the earthquake. Did you see them, are they safe?"
I could see the worry in his eyes. He looked terrified.
"You mean after your earthquake?"
He pressed his lips together. He dropped his head and his grip on my shoulders weakened.
"You know."
"Yes. I know. I know you hurt hundreds of people-"
"Charlie-"
"Trying to get just a little-"
"Char-"
"More-"
"Charlie-"
"Mone-"
"I didn't know!" He exclaimed.
My mouth snapped shut. What?
"I didn't know." He whispered. "I've only been working here for six months, I didn't... When I found out about the project I tried to stop them. I did, I promise, but... It was too late. They'd already begun digging and there was nothing I could do."
I didn't know if I could believe him. But the hurt in his eyes was so real. As I looked at him now he looked a hundred years old. His hair was messed up and cast shadows on his face. His skin looked grey in the dim lighting and he looked as if he hadn't slept in a week. He probably hadn't.
I decided I believed him. My brother was a lot of things, but a liar was not one of them.
"They're safe." I said. "Peter and Cam too, they're all in a shelter in the St. Joseph's gym."
He smiled. Not out of happiness, but out of relief. He closed his eyes, and pulled me into a tight hug.
"Thank God."
I threw my arms around him and bawled my eyes out.
"I've missed you big bro."
"I've missed you too."
We stayed in our embrace for minutes, unwilling to let go after our reunion. I wasn't sure if I was ready to forgive him entirely, but I didn't want to think about that right then. I was just happy he was safe. My tears stained his suit, but he didn't seem to notice. Or if he did, he didn't care.
After a while, we heard a cough.
We both turned to see Nathan awkwardly standing to the side, looking at his feet.
I released my brother to walk back to my friend and give him a bit of context. Greg joined me.
"Uhm, Nathan, this is Greg, my older brother." He knew that already, so I moved on to introducing Nathan.
"Greg, this is my friend Nathan."
The two guys shook hands and exchanged a few words of formalities. It was a scene I'd never thought I'd witness, and I was beginning to think this was all some kind of weird hallucination.
"Nice to finally meet you,"
"Oh, Charlie has talked about me?" Greg raised his eyebrows. "All good things, I hope?"
Nathan laughed nervously.
"Uhm..."
"On second thought, don't answer that."
Nathan seemed thankful for his way out and smiled.
"And uhm... If you don't mind me asking, how did you know?" He addressed the question to the both of us.
"There was a woman at the shelter. She talked about how humans did this and mother nature wasn't to blame, stuff like that. No one took her seriously, but I guess I just really wanted someone to blame for what happened to Paisley..."
"What happened to Paisley?" Greg asked.
I bit my lip.
"She, uh, she died. Got electrocuted by a faulty high voltage wire."
The words came out of my mouth matter-of-factly, like I'd spoken them a thousand times, when in reality, the sheer thought of what had happened to her still made me feel like throwing up.
Greg's eyes widened.
"Charlie, I'm so sorry."
I tried to smile.
"Yeah, well..." I didn't say more, afraid my voice would crack. Nathan took over.
"We just hoped to find the person who did this, so we could..."
He stopped, and I knew it was because we hadn't actually had a plan for what to do after we found the culprit.
"Well, I am sorry to disappoint," Greg said.
I playfully punched his arm.
"Don't say that." I sniffed.
He laughed, reminding me of the old days.
Nathan suddenly looked at my brother.
"Did your employer know this would happen?"
Greg looked down.
"Apparently, they knew there was a higher probability of accidents than usual, but they didn't cancel as they should have."
"So, there are documents, listing the risks?"
"Probably, but none that I have access to."
Nathan looked a bit taken aback, but he retaliated.
"But there's no one here now, is there? No one except for us?"
Greg slowly shook his head.
"Do you think you can find us help those documents?" Nathan eyes twinkled.
"I'll do anything to help."
Nathan smiled and looked at me.
"Looks like we just got ourselves a game plan."