The Chronicles of Thalia

Chapter 4- Dear Diary,

Journal,

Thalia has taken to calling you my diary of late, and frankly I find the whole notion quite preposterous. I am too old for a diary, but am mature enough to recognize the need to record the events of my life for posterity.
Speaking of Thalia, I've heard much of her in past family visits, and I don't see what's so admirable about her. I've found her rude and unladylike.
I should look into cutting off all ties with her in the near future.

Til next time then,
Eustace Clarence Scrubb

Journal,

A talking cow just made fun of me for attempting to communicate with a bird. Well, now I've heard everything.

Eustace Clarence Scrubb

P.S. I've been informed by a snooping cousin that the creature who was so rude to me earlier was, in fact, a Minotaur. I've never heard such nonsense.

Journal,

I've got the greatest bit of gossip to share with you. Mind you, I don't share this as a little boy to a diary, but as a mature adult to posterity so they will be able to tell stories about great-grandfather Eustace predicting the future since...
I've lost my train of thought, which is simply perfect. Edmund and Thalia are being their obnoxious selves. They seem inseparable of late. I'm not exaggerating. Three times today, I've wanted to find Ed for some reason or the other, so I simply asked Lucy where Thalia was and, sure enough, there he was. Whenever she not looking, he watches her. It's like he's stalking her. Naturally, I'd have a creep for a cousin.
Anyway, what was it I wanted to tell you? Oh, yes! It's about Lucy. I believe she has a secret boyfriend! Alberta will not be pleased to learn this. I wonder if Edmund knows? I'll have to tell him about.

Eustace Clarence Scrubb

Journal,

Edmund has informed me that the idea of Lucy having a boyfriend was ludicrous. I returned his rude comment, with my own retort and a few choice words.
In other news, land was spotted on the horizon about 10 minutes ago. We hope to reach the island by tomorrow evening. I am beyond excited to get out of this garbage can. It really is a sad excuse for a ship. Don't tell Caspian I said that, though. I'm afraid he'll throw me overboard.

Eustace Clarence Scrubb

My dearest diary,

I have recently come to realize that I am a know it all and a stuck up prick, pardon my French. I shall reform my ways immediately. Also, I shall begin brushing my teeth more often, as it's been called to my attention that my breath REEKS.

Eustace Clarence Scrubb

Journal,

Completely disregard the last entry. That sorrowful attempt at a prank was the collaboration of Thalia and Edmund. And though I would never be so rude as to insult someone as they have, Alberta raised me to be a gentleman after all, I have gladly told them that they may consider the things stated in the entry as true about themselves as well.
That should show them.

Eustace Clarence Scrubb.

Journal,

We set out for land tomorrow. Caspian says we'll find ourselves on what they call the Lone Islands. I've never heard of such a place, so it gives me no clue as to our location on the planet. Perhaps somewhere in the Philippines?
Make sure to ask my geography tutor about them when we get home.

Eustace Clarence Scrubb

HA!! I bet that isn't what you were expecting was it? It's a pitifully short chapter, but let me tell you. Eustace's voice is the most fun I've ever had. So. Much. Fun.
I feel like Will Poulter nailed his character.
Anyway, that's all for now. Next chapter, I'll resume a more normal narrative and have a longer chapter. You're going to love it. I promise. It's already one of my favorite chapters in the book, and I haven't even started writing it yet.
Pathetic much, Adry? Smh.

>>Adry Grace