I Know I Shouldn't

Part 7

"What do you miss the most about Asgard?" I asked softly, gazing up at the green canopy above us, the curtains for the bed pulled loosely.

"Not very much."

"Oh, you have to miss something." I sighed, turning my head and looking up at Loki.

We laid in his bed, the sheets pulled up to our waists. I had my head on his chest, and his fingers lightly stroked my shoulder, something I found I enjoyed.

"You speak of Asgard so much, you have this mighty plan to rule it one day, and yet there's nothing about it you miss?" I asked, shifting slightly. My side stung, just as it always did after we were together, but it was healing up nicely.

Loki had commented once that two months had passed, so I wasn't surprised I was better. I should be completely healed soon, although the scar there would forever remain.

Time moved so strangely here, I felt like I'd been here forever already, almost in a dream like way. Spending time with Loki actually made me happy, and I'd long since forgotten my guilty need to return to duty.

Why bother?

Loki was right, they didn't appreciate me in Asgard. I could only assume they deemed me dead at this point, and I wished it.

I never wanted to go back.

Loki made it clear he wanted me to stay with him, by his side. He wanted me to enjoy freedom with him, and I believed him now. I'd held such reservations in the beginning, such fear this would be a trick or scheme.

But it doesn't seem that way.

"I suppose I do miss some things," he finally said, sighing. "My room, all my books. My mother."

"She loves you very much, you know. When everyone thought you'd died... She mourned for months." I didn't like the way my heart had jerked at hearing the news, that Loki had fallen into the void off of Rainbow Bridge.

"I know." Loki merely said, his voice letting me know he didn't wish to discuss it. She was a tender spot with him, and although he hated Thor and his father, he treasured her still.

Perhaps I was foolish myself, thinking Loki cared for me. He'd saved my life, brought me into his bed, shown me world's I didn't even know existed. I wanted to believe everything was sincere, but somewhere still I doubted all of it.

I didn't want too, but I did.

It's just.... everything had been so different with him lately. When I'd first started sleeping in his room, I'd been incredibly uncomfortable. Loki hadn't seem bothered we shared the same bed, but it felt so intimate then, like there really was something between us.

I supposed there was, though.

I wasn't sure at what point our relationship progressed past there, or why seeing Amora in passing now didn't bother me. It just seems one day I held her in contempt, and the next day I didn't mind her at all. She had been kind to me after all, loaning me her clothing, giving me a place to rest and heal while I was injured.

Same with Loki.

I'd been warming up to him, admittedly, but then --- all my reservations melted away. Why not let myself be happy?

Why should I hold back?

I cared for the Asgardian prince more then anything, and he should know that!

I pressed a kiss against his chest, then raised my head, shuffling.

"Where are you going?" Loki's hand brushed my arm, as if bidding me to stay.