I Know I Shouldn't

Part 13

I stood nervously with Frigga, her and Thor standing on either side of me. I was worried about what was going to happen to Loki. It's been a few weeks, and he could walk now, albeit only a few steps here and there. He was stronger, though, more himself, and I knew his magic was coming back to him.

He would be well soon.

Of course, that meant he would be well enough to.... punish.

Although, I wouldn't allow such a thing! I wouldn't lock him in the dungeons, nor would I join him there. Thor was right, and so was Frigga; the child I carried was of royal blood, both theirs and that of Laufey's. My child was half Frost Giant, half Asgardian, and I wasn't sure what was going to happen now. Loki looked more Asgardian, so perhaps the baby would as well?

I hoped so.

"What is Odin going to do?" I asked nervously as I looked between the two royals on either side of me. "Will he banish Loki again? Imprison him?"

"Those days are over," Frigga murmured, her fingers reaching for mine and squeezing. "We're all tired of this needless fighting. Loki has proven himself to no longer be selfish, he risked his very life to come and rescue you. He loves you, and that has changed him."

"But will it be enough to convince Odin to let him stay here?" I muttered, my face pinching. "He will never let me leave because of the prisons, but I won't be without Loki, not with this child. I won't let it be raised that way, nor am I giving it up."

"None of us would expect that of you." Frigga assured me, but I was doubtful.

"The people will not trust Loki so readily, Mother, not after all his chaos," Thor murmured softly, trying not to be overheard. We all stood outside Odin's chambers, anxiously awaiting the news of what he wanted to do. 

To all our horror, he and Loki were both inside.

I hoped that they were talking, that Loki wouldn't get snide or Odin antagonistic. They both needed to be peaceful, I needed them to be peaceful! The worry over it was making my stomach churn, and admittedly I was starting to get a little dizzy.

As my pregnancy progressed, I understood more and more what the Frost Giant from Jotunheim had said; touching Loki made my sickness lessen, it helped me feel more myself, less cold. I found that last part odd, but I didn't question it. I had been by his side the entire time, this was the longest I had gone without touching him.

I was afraid I would lose him.

I tugged at my necklace, feeling the chain bite into my neck.

"What do you think is happening?" I asked, shifting my weight back and forth. "Do you think it's going well?"

"I'm sure it's fine," Frigga said, her voice soothing. "Nothing to worry over. Both of them can be amiable when they wish."

"I wouldn't be so sure," I disagreed; it occurred to me only then how casual I suddenly was with the Queen. I had always tried to be formal and respectful of her title, and of how kind she was as a person. Yet lately, with all the stress, I had lapsed. Even with Thor I had no issue speaking to him freely, more as a person rather then a prince.

Times had truly changed, I supposed. I knew how the others looked at me, wondering why I suddenly was so close with them all. It was no secret Frigga liked me, that she would walk with me sometimes, but now --- it's like I'd been sucked into their inner circle and no one knew or understood the reasoning.

How would they react when they found out Loki and I were expecting a child? Would I be a traitor then? An outcast? Would anyone be accepting of it? If the child was to grow here, would any be cruel to it?