Evening the Score // Book One

Chapter 28

Elena didn't come out of the bathroom. It took everything in Harry not to knock on the door and beg her to let him in, especially when he was sure he heard her crying. His heart broke with each choked sob that she fought to keep from escaping her lips so he wouldn't know. 

This was not how this was supposed to go. This night should not have ended with him sliding into bed alone and her crying in a bathroom. Harry racked his brain to try to figure out where he'd gone wrong. Clearly he'd missed a cue. And he never missed cues where Elena was concerned.

He waited as long as he could for her to come out. So he could wrap his arms around her, hold her close, put the pieces he'd shattered back together. But the exhaustion from the day and the lack of sleep he'd gotten the night before overtook him.

He fell asleep never hearing Elena finally emerge from the bathroom, slide into the bed next to him and try to fall asleep herself.

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Harry reached his arm out, an instinctive move to pull Elena closer to him. But his hand hit nothing but cold, emptiness this time. He lifted his head up off the pillow, his eyes opening immediately as he looked around the room. He was alone in the darkness. He felt the warm breeze from the gentle wind outside, alerting him to the fact that the door to the balcony was open. 

He disentangled himself from the sheets, grabbing a t-shirt from his suitcase to pull over his head before he made his way to the door. She was sitting in the middle of a lounge chair, her knees pulled up inside his Donut hoodie, her chin balanced on her knee. He felt his chest squeeze. She looked alone, lost and a little scared. Three things Harry never wanted to see on her face.

He walked out to her silently, swinging his leg over the chair, he scooted in behind her. She turned her head to watch as he pressed his lips to her shoulder. 

Elena turned back to looking forward, but she melted into him the same way she always did.
"Wh-which part of you loves me because I'm an athlete?" She asked softly, before she lifted her tear-filled glassy eyes to meet his, "And which part loves me because I'm me?"

Harry was stunned into silence. His mouth fell open just slightly as he stared into the face of a woman whose uncertain future had finally caught up to her. Since that moment in her kitchen when she'd broke down, Elena had staved off the harshest instances of fear and it finally hit her full force. 

He had no answer. He wanted to tell her that was crazy, assure her he loved every single part of her regardless of her career. But a voice in his head cautioned him that grandstanding wasn't what she needed at the moment. Elena needed to hear his honesty.

He pulled her hair back off her shoulder,

"I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Because then you'd know..." He whispered.
She blinked, sniffing back tears that had yet to slip down her cheeks,

"What would I see?"

"You'd see that you are so much more than your abilities. So much more than just an athlete. I love that you love soccer so much. I can't even put into words what it does for me to watch you do something you love. But it's not the only thing that makes you who you are." He lifted his thumb to run just under her eye, "Your kindness, your sense of humor, the way you approach life, your optimism, your strength..." He squeezed her a bit tighter, "All of that and more..." He said as he tucked his chin into the crook of her neck.

She snuggled into him,

"I'm scared." She admitted softly, "I'm scared I won't get it back. I'm scared people won't know how to love me without it. I don't know if I know who I am if I'm not a soccer player." Elena started to softly shake in his arms while the tears she'd been holding back slowly presented themselves, "I feel like I've lost a piece of myself."