Sydney Dixon

Chapter thirteen

Sydney's POV

"Dale could get under your skin. He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare. And brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale. He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but, he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us--  the truth, who we really are. In the end, he was talking about loosing our humanity. He said this group was broken. The best way to honor him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together. Stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives, our safety, our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on, we're gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale." 

Ricks speech at Dales funeral was a week ago. Before that, the only thing I could think of was how mad Dale was at me. It wasn't until the funeral that I realized, he wasn't mad at me. He knew who I really was, and he knew what it took to get under my skin just enough that I would realize who I am. I'm not a standard Dixon, I'm more than that. Dale knew it too.

Rick is right. Dale was honest, brave, loyal, and kind. He deserves to be honored, so that's exactly what we're gonna do. And every time I look at my wrist, his watch sits there, reminding me to be honest and brave, just like he was.

~~

I walk around inside my tent, lazily throwing my belongings into a bag. It was decided yesterday that everyone would be moving into the house, because of what happened to Dale.

Dale, the most sensitive subject of the hour. Everyone's grieving differently. For me, it's just hiding out in my tent and showing my face to no one except Carter and Daryl. I haven't cried since that night.

So, I decide that today is finally the day to see the sunlight. Zipping open the tent, I squint my eyes due to the sun rays. I look around and decide that this was a bad idea.

Before I can duck back into the tent, I hear my name being called.

"Sydney!" Andrea yells, waving to me. I look to the ground and roll my eyes. My feet don't separate from the ground as I drag them over to Andrea and Glenn.

"Hey guys" My voice is hoarse from the little conversations I've had.

"Hey Syd" Glenn mutters, ordering Andrea to hand him a flathead. He sticks the screwdriver into the RV, trying to fix something. This makes Andrea tear up. I tense my jaw, not wanting to loose it in front of them.

  Glenn pulls his head out of the hood, "Will you hand me a file?"

Andrea nods, handing him what he needs. Glenn shuffles his hands around, but stops all of a sudden, looking defeated.

"I let him down" Glenn sighs. I close my eyes tight. Because, I let him down too.

"He was proud of you. Maybe not in that moment, but overall" Andrea crosses her arms.

Glenn scoffs, "Easy for you to say. You had his back"

"I have my share of regrets. But I think that he knew how much we cared for him." Andrea speaks slowly, holding back tears.

Glenn does the opposite, letting his flow down his cheeks. I tense my jaw once again.

"That might do it" He wipes his eyes and slams the hood shut.