Cabin Calls

iii)

"So did Tyler end up eating whatever was not actual food? Or did he eat a burrito, per my request? Please do tell, I want a very detailed description."

"Back again I see, burrito boy."

"Indeed I am, Miss Nobody. And this time I have a real reason."

"Oh really? Is it to ask about kids named Tyler?"

"Really really. And no, it is not. Wanna know it?"

"Nope."

"Well too bad, because I'm telling you anyway. It's a question that has been burning in my mind and I simply must know the answer."

"And I'm the one who holds the key to this mystery?"

"Yes, yes you are. You are clearly The Chosen One. Please, Nobody, follow along."

"But what if I don't want to accept my destiny as Chosen One?"

"You'll make me and the rest of the world fall into a pit of despair, and you will be forced to hear the wails of the damned for all eternity via scream-filled voicemails."

"Fine, you overdramatic child. What's you're oh-so-important question?"

"Why the hotline?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why have a hotline for a summer camp. If you ask me, it's sounds pretty stupid."

"Well for one, it's SUPPOSED to be so that people, such as parents, can get information about the camp. It's not supposed to be for annoying ass teenage boys to call and harass the very tired employees."

"Me? Harass? I'll have you know that I'm a good samaritan who's just trying to get to know their new friend, Miss Nobody."

"We are not friends, burrito boy. I'm just the girl who answers the phone, and you're just the asshat who keeps calling. Three times now, in fact."

"You know that this asshat has a name, Nobody, and it isn't burrito boy."

"Yeah, and I personally don't care to know it."

"Once again, your words cut me like daggers."

"You'll heal."

"Damn straight I will. I believe a great woman of our time once said "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

"Did you really just quote Kelly Clarckson?"

"I really did. Why, did it turn you on? Have I swooned thee so quickly?"

"Sorry to say, but you haven't, burrito boy. You have, however, gotten a very catchy tune stuck in my head."

"Well you're very welcome for that. It's a classic, I'll have you know."

"Oh, I know. My eyes are practically overflowing with tears of nostalgia as we speak."

"Once again, you're welcome."

"Well, I hate to cut this truly amazing time me we're having short, but I have to get back to work."

"I already miss you, Nobody. Don't worry, I'll call again soon. You won't be lonely for long."

"I truly just can't wait. Later, burrito boy."

"Later, Nobody."