Cabin Calls

v)

"Hey, Burrito Boy, I'm in a bit of a situation and I'm in need of some of your oh-so-amazing and idiotic wisdom."

"Uh, who's Burrito Boy?"

"Ah, shit. I must've called the wrong number. Sorry ma-"

"Wait, wait, don't worry. You may have called the right number, I think the wrong person just might have answered."

"Oh well then, in that case, do you happen to know a stupid man-child who has a very strange love for burritos and is willing to kill over them?"

"And he has a child like sense of humour as well?"

"Yes, yes that asshat does."

"Well then, I guess you have the right number after all. The guy you're trying to call is currently in the shower blasting early 2000's Kelly Clarckson songs. I'm happen to be that idiots roommate."

"Yeah that sounds about right... wait, your name doesn't happen to be David, does it?"

"Yup, the one and only. How'd you know my nam- wait a second. Burrito Boy... heavy use of curses... sarcasm for days... you're Nobody, aren't you? The girl that H- I mean, Burrito Boy has been talking to, right?"

"You got me. By the way, you were about to call him by his name, weren't you? Why didn't you?"

"He told me that he thought it was a lot more fun to talk with you when you both had nicknames. So I thought I'd go along with it. Why?"

"Well it's just... I uh... don't know his name. I mean, he doesn't know mine either. It's not that important, now that I think about it. Or maybe it is, I dunno."

"Ah, well, I think I'll leave it up to you two lovebirds to figure that out on your- YEAH I'M IN THE KITCHEN MAN. HEY, THAT GIRL YOU LIKE TALKING TO IS ON THE PHONE SO HURRY THE HELL UP-own. Well, he's currently running towards me at the speed of light so that's my cue. Later."

"Wait, David! We aren't-"

"Aren't what?"

"Oh, hey there. It's nothing. Anyways, glad you finally decided to show up."

"Hey, I had to freshen up a bit before I talk to the snarkiest girl I know. Anyways, what's up?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just calling to ask you whether or not you enjoy pineapple on pizza."

"Why is this so important?"

"Me and my friend are currently trying to order a fuck ton of pizza for the kids here and we started arguing over how much pineapple pizza to get. I said one because pineapple simply does not belong on a pizza, while she opted for three because she thinks it really does belong. We already decided on two though."

"Ah well, I guess you don't need me then. But if you really must know, I'm a pro-pineapple pizza kinda guy."

"Ah well, to each their own. Hey, sorry to cut it short but I gotta get back to work."

"No worries, Nobody. Hope David didn't bother you too much."

"Not at all. Later, Burrito Boy."

"Later, Nobody."

"..."

"So he talks about me at home. Huh. Nice to know."