Cabin Calls

vi)

"Back at it again I see, Burrito Boy."

"And what to you mean by 'it' Nobody?"

"Wasting my time and draining my life force like you tend to do when you call."

"I think I'm actually making your life force stronger through witty comments and jokes, thank you very much. And don't lie, I make your time much more enjoyable with my calls."

"Psh, please."

"Need I remind you that you called me first last time? In need of my opinion, might I add?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"You know I'm right."

"Hmm I don't thinks so. Or maybe I do, and just don't feel like giving you that kind of satisfaction."

"Thinks so? What are you, an old timey Italian mobster?"

"Maybe. You don't know my life story. I could be a a young woman who has risen up in the ranks of a high class Italian mob, who will ultimately become a mob boss and rule over my city with an iron fist."

"That sounds badass. I hope that you aren't lying. Because that would be fucking awesome."

"Huh, yeah. That would be pretty sweet. But alas, I must tell you that that is not true-"

"What? No! It can't be!"

"Aye, but it's true... that it's... not true. I could've worded that better."

"Yeah you could've."

"I fucked up the punchline, didn't I?"

"Yeah. You kinda did. But points for taking the high road and realizing your mistake. You're turning into a very model citizen, Nobody."

"Why thank you, Burrito Boy. I take pride in being honest."

"A very good trait to have, might I sa- DAVID WHAT THE FUCK I SWEAR I'M GONNA KILL YOU. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? DO YOU NOT SEE THE CELL PHONE IN MY-hey, Nobody, would you-HAND? YES I'M TALKING TO HER AND NO THAT WON'T STOP ME FROM BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- hold on a second?"

"Well as long as no one is murdered by you while I hold, then yeah, sure. Tell David that whatever he did to make you scream like a little girl was amazing and I'm proud."

"Haha, will fucking do capt- DAVID I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU WANT TO LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY YOU WILL PUT. THE. WATER. BALLOON. DOWN-ain. later, Miss Nobody."

"Later, Burrito Boy."

"..."

"Man, I love water balloon fights. I hope David nails him in the dick."