Corset in Congress (A Hamilton Genderbend)

Chapter Nine: A Winter's Ball

Burr's POV

I'm confounded. How does the bastard, orphan, spawn of a whore, go on and on, grow into more of a phenomenon? I mean, honestly! When you talk that much, people tell you to shut up. That's how it works. How then did this happen? Watch this obnoxious, arrogant, loudmouth bother be seated at the right hand of the father!

Washington hires Hamilton right on sight, but Hamilton still wants to fight, not write. Now Hamilton's skill with a quill is undeniable, but what's one thing we don't have in common?

This part I say out loud. I think Laurens hears me, but what's he going to do about it? "I'm reliable with the ladies!"

"There are so many to deflower!" Surprisingly, Laurens joins me, and so does Lafayette. Mulligan is probably off sewing socks or something for the army, so naturally he's not here, but

"Ladies! Looks, proximity to power!" We sing, while simultaneously checking out the women we see. I know Laurens isn't trying as hard as he could be, because he's got his eye on the one woman he can't have.

He's watching Alexandra.

"Ladies!" we chorus, clinking glasses of champagne as we toast the wonderful gift of women in our lives. No matter how much we joke, they actually are incredibly important people, and without them, nothing would ever get done.

"They delight and distract us! Martha Washington named her feral tomcat after one of us!"

It's true, but whoever it is won't tell. We know it's someone in the army, but no one know for sure. There are a few rumours circulating, and bets going, though. My money's on Lafayette. He's exotic. Women love exotic.

It's 1780, a winter's ball, and the Schuyler siblings are the envy of all.

Turning to my two companions, I tell them, "If you can marry a Schuyler, you're rich, son," even though this is common knowledge. They nod, but there's a competitive glint in Lafayette's eyes, because there's only one sister. It's a bit unnerving.

From across the room, I hear a faint voice. "Is it a question of if, Burr, or which one?"

I smile a little at that, shaking my head at Alexandra's audacity. Of course she'd be one to say that. She has both the best and the worst sense of timing in the world.

Laurens has a faraway look in his eyes, and Lafayette's looking at him, concerned. I pull them towards the nearest cluster of women, and we proceed to flirt, very badly.

"Hey," I sidle up to one, and she rolls her eyes.

"Hey," Laurens says to one who's already deep in conversation with another man. 

"Hey," says Lafayette, the only one who seems to have any success. She doesn't let him stay, but she does smile, which is more than the rest of us.

We start to make our way across the room, saying nothing but, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey," and as we get turned away every time without fail, I realize that this is the most fun I've had in a long time.