Mr. Elitist [ A Novel ]

29

| Nathan |

Jackson could always tell when there was something bothering me. And today, he was even more in-tune to how I was feeling than ever. He finally said something after I got lost in thoughts of Isabella for the millionth time and had to snap his fingers in front of my face.

"Hey, what is up with you today?" he asks, his expression concerned. This was not good. She'd invaded every part of my life without meaning to, and now I couldn't focus on a fucking thing without her. But when I was with her, all I could focus on was her, so that was completely pointless too. This was new for me. So new it scared me. Especially because I knew she wanted me to define what we were for her, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

"I, uh, I went out with Isabella again." I mutter and Jackson's face lights up instantly.

"Again as in there have been other times? Even though this is the first I'm hearing of it?" he asks, prying as usual.

"Well, yeah." I answer shortly. "Way more than once now."

"Did you two sleep together?" he asks and my eyes widen. Suddenly all I can picture is the night after going out with Rachael and Hunter. All I can hear is her. The way she said my name . . . Jesus I needed help. I clear my throat.

"Yes." I say coldly and he grins.

"And?"

"And what?" I snap and he shakes his head.

"Don't be a moron, how was it?" he asks again and I frown a little. Jackson and I had only every shared stuff like this with each other during high school, when we were first discovering sex. But now, it felt weird. I couldn't deny how great it was, and sex had never been that 'great' with anyone else. With Danni and Charlotte, it had been enough to get me through the week, but with her, it was the thing that made my week. This, among many, many other thing, scared me too. Why was sex with her so great? Why didn't I get that kind-of addictive feeling from anyone else? It was easy when it was happening, I couldn't question anything while I was with her, but much later, when I was able to think, these were the questions I asked myself.

"Hey, come on man, tell me." says Jackson, kicking me under the conference table we sat at, where we were supposed to be studying the charts in front of us, but that wasn't happening.

"It's so fucking nice." I blurt out and he whoops loudly. I roll my eyes, but I can't help grinning at him. "Her body . . . is perfect and I don't know, I just . . . can't get enough."

"Sounds like your whipped." he says and I shake my head.

"No, I am definitely not whipped. And we are not officially dating or anything." I insist and he rolls his eyes now.

"What are you waiting for? Don't be such an idiotic douche." he says forcefully. "You've been going on about this girl for months and months now, I don't really know what your issue is, but if you're not careful, you could lose her."

I glare at him. "You know I have trouble trusting people."

"Yeah I do, but at some point you've got to get a pair of balls and do the manly thing." he says and I sigh deeply, leaning back in my chair. I run a hand over my face. "Look, I get commitment issues, I used to have them too. Always thinking its better to have the option of every hot girl I met and never having to be tied down. But Lucy changed things dude. And Isabella changed things for you."

"It's not commitment." I start. "It's that, if I did start dating her, I don't know how long that's supposed to go on."

"Until you break up or decide you want to marry her." he says and I stand at that, my heart jumping in my chest at the thought. Marriage? Fuck. I couldn't think about the future like that. I pace for a second, feeling agitated.