Mr. Elitist [ A Novel ]

30

| Isabella |

I've never cried over a guy before.

When I found out my boyfriend in college was cheating on me, I was relieved because I didn't want the stress of breaking up with him. But when Nathan basically told me, after everything, that he had just wanted to sleep with me, it crushed me.

Of course, I'd never let him see that, but when I got home it suddenly came crashing down around me and I lost it. The tears pouring down my face as soon as I walked in the door. Rachael came running towards from the living room where she'd been watching TV.

"Hey, oh my gosh, Izzy, are you okay?" She had asked and I told her what happened between sobs, balling like a baby. I'd never felt so pathetic in my life.

She was livid and prepared to go over to his apartment and follow through on her promise to remove his balls. But I stopped her. She then, of course, ranted about the record time it took for him to turn from a nice guy to pig. She said she'd never seen it happen so fast, which meant if she ever saw him again she'd chop off his penis too.

I wanted to spend the next few days in bed, regretting the last months. I wanted to call in sick to work and I eat my way through as many ice cream flavors as possible. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. That would mean he'd won something over me and I couldn't stand that thought.

So the next morning, even though it was difficult, I got out of bed. Rachael supported my decision to keep going with my life, as far as she was concerned a guy like Nathan was not worth putting your life on hold for. Each day I kept going, things slowly got a little easier. But, the next week, on Monday, not thinking about him was a little worse. And my day was ruined, if only I could get him out of my head.

I was sitting at my desk at work, trying to finish an assignment early for my boss, but my brain wouldn't let me focus on anything. It kept replaying that night over and over again in my head, taunting me. He'd turned so cold, so quickly, and I couldn't understand it.

I suddenly felt so defeated and . . . stupid all over again. I'd made so many assumptions and I completely forgot who he really was. I didn't love him but I did like him a lot and I'd gotten attached to the idea of maybe falling in love one day. I'd thought it could happen, but I'd been wrong about the whole fucking thing. That hurt the most.

I huff, frustrated and shut my computer down, deciding I should take my lunch break. There was a little bakery right next to the building I worked in that would cheer me up, at least, I hoped it would. I hadn't really been eating right for the past week. I'd have some food here and there, but I honestly felt too sick to eat sometimes. Rachael kept insisting it would get better and that I would meet someone better for me, but right now, the world felt hopeless.

I grab my purse, throwing my phone and wallet inside before signing off and leaving the office. It was nearly noon now, and the Manhattan sidewalks were busier than ever, people rushing to go places, never looking twice at those around them. It was barely a five minute walk to this bakery, and as soon as I stepped inside I knew I'd made the right choice. It smelled like fresh bread and good coffee, two things my light would never be complete without.

I order a latte, salad and one of the adorable pastries from the case up front. They were different flavored bites of cake, some lemon or chocolate, covered in pastel colored fondant and frosting. I sat at a window seat, looking out at the city, and the sun shining over everything. This kind-of day was my favorite. A day where the air is still and calm, where there isn't a cloud in the sky and the sun is so bright that just about anything lights up. But, today, it all felt bland. Boring.