bittersweet

pros and cons of loving you

here i am
contemplating
do i love you?
do i not?
like a little girl 
picking daisy petals
under the sun

so here i am

stating the pros and cons
of loving you

pros:
i love
the way
you smile with sincerity
i feel a sense of serenity, when i'm around you

i love that
you are consistently
there
you're always there
and you time share

i love that
you gave me your cookie
when i didn't have money
and never asked for me
to repay

i love
the way
you make me laugh
even on the worst of worsts
when i've cursed
the world i've been brought into

a pro
you make me not want to kill myself
you're a pro

i love
that sitting next to you gives me peace
just sitting
with you can be beautiful
i wish i wish
i can

cons:
i don't know if i'm sure
i don't know
if i'm not just lonely
if i'm not just rebounding
i don't know
if i really love you

i question
if staying should be an option

i don't trust
loving boys
loving any boy

i'm broken
there's no fixing
you can do
that will cure
my broken heart
my messed up brain

i don't want
you to worry
for i will drift
with no clue

i won't know
if you'll still love me
even when i'm gone

i don't know
if you love me
the way i might

in conclusion
i don't know
i have no idea
if i can
or do

love you.