Hetalia Oneshots

Sassy Italian | romano

Serious language warning
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Romano Vargas was always a pissy guy.

Like, you had to agree with that.

But when he's had no sleep and had an ugly morning...

JFC, you'd need to run for your life.

It started when Romano decided to get the fuck off Tumblr, because he spent a whole night on that life-draining app full of weird shit.

And, of course there was a World Meeting held on that specific day.

Of all bloody days.

So, deciding to actually do something, Romano went to find his formal uniform.

With a gruff and huff, the soon-to-be-pissy Italian fell out of bed and crawled towards his wardrobe, opening it, and magically disappeared into Narnia.

It was snowing.

Romano was still in his boxers.

Do you see where I'm heading, now?

"What the fuck? Where the fuck is my clothes? What's this white shit everywhere?"

Deciding not to deal with all the 'white shit', Romano walked back into his room.

"Well, that was fucking weird." He mumbled, changing into his formal uniform.

Opening the door, he walked into his bathroom.

Some how there was a big puddle of water in the middle of the room.

And guess what?

Because I am a horrible person and the author of this story, Romano will slip on that puddle.

"Oh! YoU EAT DICK!" Romano screamed, before smashing his head on the tiles, knocking himself out.

≈†≈

Romano awoke on clouds.

"What the fuck? Why aren't I falling? Am I in heaven?"

While these questions littered the Italian's head, he didn't see a certain Spaniard run towards him.

"Oh, ROMANO!" The Spaniard sung.

"Oh, shit. Antonio's here. I'm in hell," Romano groaned, running away from his (boyfriend) acquaintance.

"Oh no you don't, Romano," Antonio sung, throwing a potato at the Italian.

Where Antonio got those potatoes, I have no fucking clue.

"Go the hell, you Spanish dildo!" Romano yelled, before running into someone.

"Ah! Fratello, I see you haven't met the King of Potatoes."

It was Romano's twin brother, Feliciano Vargas.

"As long as the bastardo doesn't follow me, I'll go."

"Sì! Just give me a second-" Feli said, opening his eyes, "-POTATO TAXI! GET THE FUCK HERE, YOU MoTHERFUCKER!"

In an instant, a potato with wheels parked next to the two Italian brothers.

"Let's go, fratello!" Feli cheered, dragging Romano into the potato vehicle.

Poor Antonio. He was left behind.

≈†≈

After a long drive, with Romano yelling and screaming, the two Italians saw a potato hill.

It was a massive potato with a doorway.

"There it is," Feli told Romano. "The Potato King's castle."