Fallen- Sam Winchester X Reader

Five

Warning: There will be a suicide attempt in this chapter, and if you would like to you can skip that part of the whole chapter. 

  You sat at the library table, tapping your fingers against it as you listened to the Winchester brothers yell at each other. Sam was livid that Dean let him get possessed by an Angel, and Dean said he was just trying to keep Sam alive.
 
    Letting out a breath, you stood up. You might as well leave now before they had to kick you out. You walked to your room, grabbing the duffel bag from under the bed and filling it with all your belongings. You zipped it up, taking one last look around your room before walking out. The second you stepped out of the room, something- or someone- knocked into you and you fell to the floor.

   "Ow." You muttered, rubbing the sore spot on your thigh. A hand reached out and helped you back to your feet, and you looked up only to be met with very familiar hazel eyes.

     "Sorry y/n, I didn't see you there. Are you okay?" Sam asked, and you looked down and pretended to brush yourself off to hide your red cheeks.

      "I'm fine, thanks." You muttered, pulling your duffel bag up so it didn't fall off your shoulder.

     "Why do you have a duffel bag? Oh, please don't tell me you're leaving." Sam said, and you looked up at him. He wanted you to stay?

  "Um, I- I assumed you wanted me to leave. I mean, I was best friends with the Angel possessing you." You explained, and Sam's eyes widened. 

    "You knew I was possessed by an Angel?" Sam asked, and you nodded before looking down at your feet. For some reason, the way he said it made you want to crawl into a hole and never come out again. 

  "Y/n, why didn't you say something? Why did you keep it a secret? I thought we were friends." Sam says quietly, and you almost flinch. I don't want to be just friends, you think. Sighing, you look up at him. 

  "I'm sorry, Sam. Dean told me he did it to keep you alive, and that if you knew then you would expel him and you'd die." You explained. Sam's jaw was clenched, he looked angry. 

   "If I had expelled him, he wouldn't have killed Kevin. How can you even be friends with him?" The anger turns to disgust, and you can't help but feel awful. 

  "No, Sam, you don't understand. I know him, and I know that he would never do that unless someone manipulated him into doing it. Please believe me." You begged. 

   "Why should I believe you when all you've been doing since you came here was lie?" He spat, and you literally stumbled back at his words. Shaking your head, you fixed your duffel bag and looked straight into Sam's eyes. 

   "I can tell I'm not wanted here. And before I go, I have one thing to say. During my time here, with you and your brother, I somehow fell in love with you Sam. So I would never ever do anything to hurt you, and I wouldn't let Gadreel either. You don't have to believe me, but that's the truth." You explained, watching as his face filled with shock. 

  "Goodbye, Sam Winchester. I wish you a good life." And with that, you turned on your heel and walked away. You walked out of the bunker, feeling tears build up as you shut the door behind you and headed down the road. You didn't know where you would go, or what you would do. Hell, you didn't even know if you were ever going to eat again. But it didn't matter, you felt hopeless, like there was no point in going on any longer. 

  You walked for about thirty minutes until you landed in a town. Walking into the motel, you quickly checked in with some money the Winchesters had given you and went to your room. You collapsed onto the bed, clutching the pillow to your chest as you finally let the tears fall. You had left the man you were in love with, and your best friend. And your old best friend was killing people, and everything was falling apart in your life. 

(The suicide attempt is right after this, you have been warned.)

  What was worse was that you didn't have your Angel powers, or your wings. You were a puny, worthless human. Sniffling, you sat up and brushed your tears away. You didn't want to live anymore, so you weren't going to. You stood up, walking into the bathroom and hitting the mirror with your shoe until it shattered. Grabbing a shard of the glass, you went back to the bed and sat down. 

  Taking a deep breath, you sliced into your wrists, making enough cuts that you'd bleed out in a matter of minutes. Crying out as each one stung more, you finally dropped the glass and watched as blood poured out of your arms. Taking calming breaths, you laid down and closed your eyes as more tears fell. You felt lightheaded instantly, and the edges of your vision were black. You fell into the darkness with open arms, the last thing you heard before you were gone was a loud thud, then a bright light. But you let the blackness overtake you, for you knew that's where you were meant to be all along.