Fallen- Sam Winchester X Reader

Six

        The beeping of a machine was the only thing you heard as you slowly opened your eyes. The bright lights above hurt your eyes, and you felt tempted to close your eyes again. You didn't know where you were, but you remembered what happened. You had tried to kill yourself, and you hoped it had worked. But when you turned your head and saw Sam sleeping on the couch next to your bed, you knew that it hadn't. 

     You looked to the other side of the bed you were in, seeing that you were connected to machines- which was where the beeping had come from. You sighed, attempting to reach up and tug your hair out of your face. But you couldn't move your hands, which caused you to look down. You were tied to the bed, which meant you wouldn't be able to move your arms. Sighing, you leaned back and closed your eyes. You were going to be in so much trouble once Sam knew you were awake. 

    The door opened, revealing Dean and someone you assumed was the doctor. Dean's eyes met yours, and his face filled with relief. The sudden add in people in the room caused Sam to stir, and he now realized you were awake too. You didn't look at him, scared of what you would see when you did. 

   "Ahh, you're awake. I was getting worried." The doctor said, smiling kindly. You nodded, not speaking as she walked over and looked at the machines before scrawling something down on her clipboard. She turned her attention to you, and out of your peripheral vision you saw Sam and Dean having a hushed conversation, most likely about you. 

    "How are you feeling?" She asked softly, looking at you as if you were a puppy left out on the streets. You shrugged, which was hard considering you were tied to the bed. 

   "I'm fine, I guess." You said, not knowing what you were supposed to say. The doctor scrunched up her lips, tapping her chin with her pen as if she were analyzing you. 

   "And how are your arms? Any pain or uncomfortableness?" She asked, and you looked down at your wrists. Both were wrapped in gauze, but there was no pain. Looking back up at her, you shook your head. 

   "Alright, well then I'll leave you be. I'll have someone check on you later." She said, before walking out. You watched her go, wishing she would have stayed to keep you away from the lecture you were definitely about to get from the two men staring at you. You laid back down, staring at the ceiling, not saying anything. 

   "Well, I'll be the first to break the ice. What the hell, y/n?" Dean asked, and you sighed. So much for easing into it. 

   "Dean, don't. We're not going to get anywhere with her if we're angry." Sam told Dean, and you turned to look at him in surprise. Sam was looking at you, an agony in his eyes that was so intense it took your breath away. 

   "I-I'm not going to say I'm sorry for what I did, because I'm not. I didn't do that on accident, I actually wanted to die. But, I will say I'm sorry for causing you two pain by my choice." You explained. The brothers looked at you, not saying anything, just looking. And you stared right back. 

   "You scared me Y/n. When I went into that hotel room and saw you passed out in a pool of your own blood- I've never been so scared in my whole life." Sam said, and you could feel tears building up. 

  "I'm-" You stopped yourself before you could say you were sorry, because you weren't. In fact, you were already thinking about how maybe you'd try again. Not anytime soon, but it was a possibility. Damn, you really had gotten worse since you fell. 

  "Y/n, I'm just going to go ahead and say it. Sam and I love you. We care about you, and we hate seeing you hurt yourself like this. And we want you to stay with us, so we can make sure you're okay." Dean said, and the word love made you remember how you had told Sam you loved him before you left. Suddenly, you didn't feel so comfortable. 

    "Thank you, that means a lot to me, Dean. Really." You said quietly, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. Dean nodded, and then the room went silent. All that could be heard was the beeping of the machine. Dean stood up, causing both you and Sam to look at him. 

  "I'm going to go get some food. This hospital stuff is crap." He said, and you felt panic rise in your chest. Don't leave me with Sam, please. But Dean couldn't read your mind, so he just smiled and left. You let out a sigh, closing your eyes. 

   "Y/n, about what you said in the bunker..." Sam trailed off, and you inwardly groaned. Why couldn't you have just died? You turned to look at Sam, waiting for him to tell you he didn't feel the same and that he'd rather you not stay with them at the bunker.

   "I wasn't sure when you actually told me. But, when I say you in the hotel room, half dead. I knew. I knew that- that I love you too. I love you, Y/n." He breathed out, a small smile gracing his lips. You were shocked. That was not what you had been expecting. He stood up and walked over until he was right next to you. 

   "Say something. Please." He pleaded, furrowing his brows. You knew you should say something sweet or heartfelt, but you were too shocked. You never thought he'd love you back, a fallen Angel who tried to kill themselves. So instead, you said the only thing you could think of. 

  "Kiss me." You blurted. And, without hesitation, he did. And it was more amazing than you ever thought it would be.