Dan X Phil ~ Shut Up, Howell!

♢ 3 ♢

^^ Tyler Oakley in this book.

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Wednesday

I woke up and my first thought, 'why does my head hurt so bad?'.

Well. I answered that one pretty quick. I opened my tired eyes and glanced around me. Clothes scattered the floor, mashed together with various alcohol bottles.

There was whiskey, cider, vodka, tequila... wow.

What a night. And not even a week in college! I checked my watch and mentally imploded.

1:14. I'm just thankful that it wasn't a day in class today! Still peeved about the time I woke up though...

I laid my heavy head back down on the pillow and closed my eyes, and turned on my side, feeling a warm body there.

Oh god.

Then my second panicked thought was: did I use protection.

Because I know something happened! We clearly had sex we were drunk and it was a party, I mean for God sakes, we're not just gonna do the cha-cha are we?!

I was cringing, and bracing myself to look to my left at the sleeping body. What if she had a boyfriend? I'll get murdered!

I took a breath and looked to my left, my stomach completely exploding. It wasn't a she...

It was a he...

And also my lanky emo roommate...

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What was I gonna do?! I'm not a dick, so I'm not gonna sneak off, because we live together anyway! I won't leave a note because that's just... I don't even know...

Shall I wake him up? Or pretend to be asleep then let him wake me up...!? I don't know!

Knock knock.

My heart stopped. I stared at the door.

And in came Tyler...

He was clearly shocked at the scene in front of him: two freakishly tall roommates naked in bed after a banging night of drink and possibly drugs.

All that he said was, "wow, Dan".

And come on! What could I do? Deny the obvious. He knew it happened.

"...oops?" I managed to cough out.

Tyler burst out laughing and dragged my half naked body out into the living room with other passed out college students.

"So... never knew Dan Howell was gay?" He poked. I sighed.

"Neither did I..."

I saw his face go blank.

"Wait, wait. I was only having a joke, wait! You're actually gay?! Oh my God Dan! You and Phil actually happened!" He started yelling excitedly.