Scarred (Scorching Soldier's #1)

Part 10

"When is a monster not a monster?
Oh, when you love it."

- Caitlyn Siehl

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CHAPTER 10
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ZOEY

The night rolls in like a foggy tide enveloping the tips of the living. Gage's father has still not woken. The evening descends, sunset dwindling into blackness.

"You should go home, have a shower and come back in the morning, Gage," I say gently. It's the first words spoken in a while. The room has become a funeral of speech.

He sits up in his chair and sighs. "I want to be here when he wakes up."

"And that's fine - the nurses have been kind enough to let you stay here overnight - but you came straight from the gym and you haven't changed out of your clothes... you haven't even had a shower yet."

I observe the still man sat leant over the hospital bed. Despite my words, his resolve does not change. I understand his hesitation to leave but knows it will do him no good. A deep part of me, somewhere in the burrows of my spine, aches to help Gage, with little knowledge as to why I care so much.

"He's not going to wake up until tomorrow, watching him won't make the anaesthesia wear off faster."

For the first time in what has probably been an hour, he looks from his dad, pale in complexion and so very fragile, to my own concerned gaze. "I know that. I just feel bad, you know? I haven't been around for him very much, recently. And while that wouldn't have changed the events of his health deteriorating, I can't stop thinking... what if he had died today? What would the last thing I said to him be? Would he have died thinking his only son didn't care about him?"

"I know what you mean." I frown and shifts her gaze to the floor, pondering whether to let the words of sorrow flow from my dry lips. "I hate hospitals."

He stays quiet, maintaining the levelled direction of his reddened eyes. At this point, the silent communication of loss is palpable. He doesn't ask who, for which I am grateful, I doubt that he cares to know. He probably understands that all death takes its toll, irrelative of the degree of relationship.

My phone dings in my back pocket. The sound makes me jump, it being a louder beep compared to the beeps coming from the machines. Gage doesn't seem too affected by it and solemnly looks back at his dad.

The text is from my brother, asking where I am. I curse. I had completely forgotten about the coffee with Lucian. I had been looking forward to it, too. To say I felt bad was an understatement. "I'm just going to make a phone call," I murmur to Gage, who nods in reply.

I leave the room and instantly hit dial. My brother picks up on the first ring. "Zoey, are you okay?" These are the first words uttered. I cringe at the anxious tone, as I knew that he liked to worry about me - especially since he got back from combat.

"I'm fine, I just got sidetracked and forgot to message you."

"God, I thought something bad happened - please don't forget next time?" The inquest is genuine, his natural brotherly instinct to make sure I am okay.

"I promise I won't forget again. You don't have to worry so much."

"I do, anyway. Where are you?"

"At the hospital with Gage - his dad had a heart attack this morning. I saw him at the gym coming to meet you and he got the phone call while I was talking to him. I offered to drive him here."

"Shit, how is he dealing with it?"

"I don't know if he's going to be okay. Can't really read him - a trait all you soldiers seem to bring home with you."

"A trait all you women seem to have from birth, too."

I roll my eyes and groans. "Ha, ha. You're funny."

"I'm hilarious," he laughs down the line. It's full of so much warmth, I swear I feel it emit from my mobile.

"Okay, well I'd better get back to Gage. Want to rearrange coffee for another day, instead?"

"Definitely. You can pay since you missed today, though. Good offers only last a limited time."

"It's not like I purposefully forgot," I argue.

"That's my final offer, Zo. Take it or leave it."

I huff and playfully omit a sigh. "Fiiine."

Just before the conversation is cut, Lucien calls for my attention. "And Zoey? Please be careful."

"When am I not careful?" I lightly reply, but I also understand that there is a string of sincere advice laced with the words.

"I mean with Gage. I know you have this vendetta to fix everyone, but there are some people that will break you before you even get close. He is one of those people. It's hard, but sometimes darkness is too overwhelming."

"I was told the same when you came back from combat - and look at you now." I counter.

Then, another death of conversation. The line goes flat. I look at my phone to see the dark reflection of my sombre expression. my battery ran out of charge.

The door to the hospital room opens and Gage emerges, with his gym bag slung over his shoulder. At first, I wonder if he had somehow overheard my brother's side of the conversation, but this fear is dispelled once I take note of his slightly more relaxed expression.

"You're right." A statement that has me taken aback. But the two words also released a wave of relief that he was taking his own welfare into consideration. Definitely a step in the right direction. "I'll come back tomorrow. If dad were awake, he'd hit me if he knew I wasn't taking care of myself... I can't stay here all night anticipating the unlikely."

I nod and give a supportive smile.

"What made you change your mind?"

"Spontaneity."

I cock my head, the premise suggesting a deeper thought process.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" He asks me, and the question has my heart racing, feels like my heart is spilling out of my ribcage and into my abdomen.

"No... why? What do you have in mind?"

"Part of the spontaneity is the surprise." He lowers his head, vulnerable. Vulnerability in the chance to forget, to do something distracting. "Is the silence a yes?"

My brother's words, sometimes darkness is overwhelming, pulses through my head. Perhaps that might be the case, but I was not going to be the eclipse that fooled man to sleep.