Our Dearly Beloved Letters To Heaven From The Family Nelson

Letter #7

My oldest and closest friend,

It has been a full year since your passing and I miss you more and more every day. Every morning when the sun rises and gives off its warmth on my face it feels like you have your arms embracing me close to your heart. When ever the rain falls it feels like the countless tears that had fallen from your eyes from enduring the pain of your childhood and things that had hurt you to your very soul. Whenever the moon lights up the night sky its like you're smiling down at me. The sparkling stars remind me of your eyes. The warm breeze in the summer air reminds me of all the times we've spent talking about out lives and our futures. Today is a very hard day. The one year anniversary of your passing. As I sit and pen this letter to you I remenise on each and every time I was there for you through the good and bad times. I was there as the friend and lover that you could forever depend on no matter how mad I was or how much you pushed me away. However I feel as if I had failed you on that fateful day when you left this world to go to the next. I will forever blame myself for not being there when you needed me the most. It will always be my biggest regret that I didn't get to your side sooner. If only I had cancelled my flight for that important vacation that I pushed you away for. I know you insisted that I'd go but I shouldn't have. You needed me and I should have been there. I was there for you when you needed help raising the kids. I was there for the birth of Princess. I was there so save you from yet a horrible marriage that ened up in another nasty divorce. I was there for your big break. I was there when you were homeless. I was there in all of your trials and tribulation. I was there to lift you up and celebrate the man you became. I was there for it all. You were there for my stuggles as well and you were also my savior. For many years you have been my addiction. My drug of choice. You were my first everything. My first kiss. My first love. The first person to open my eyes to a world that you created. You would set my soul ablaze with every kiss of your lips. Every touch from your fingers. Every tight embrace. It was you that I had been in love with and it was never something that would just come and go. My love for you has and always will be never ending. God its taking me a lot to not burst into tears right now. The more I think of you the more my heart calls for you. If only I did marry you. I should have just done it. Then maybe......just maybe.....I could have been your saving grace. Maybe you'd still be alive. Maybe we'd even be making love until dawn like we did when we were young. You gave me life the moment you kissed me. It was so electrifying that I just couldnt leave you alone. My soul couldn't be torn away from you. The mystery and enigma that is Prince was where I wanted to be. I remember you said to me that home is where the heart is and that you wanted to come home. I turned down your plea at first over an arguement once. Now here I am asking the very same of you. I want to be where my heart is. I want to be with you. I've cried myself to sleep most nights. Other nights I find myself reaching out to touch you only to find you not there. I often hear your voice. There's times where it's so loud and so clear that I would have to cover my ears just to drown out the sound of you. Damn it Prince! Why you?!?!?! I should have been there to take care of you the same way you took care of me when I was what to be my final hours. I'm just.....so sorry! I'm sorry for not being with you! I'm sorry for leaving you all alone! I shouldn't have left you alone. I should have taken you with me and we could have gotten married. Maybe even given you a child from your body to grow your family. God stole you away from me! You were always mine and I took you and your love forgranted! You must hate me right now. You probably aren't even watching over me. I understand if that's the case. I abandoned you and in return you've abandonded me. It's what I know I deserve. Then again......I hope that it's not true. My heart beats wildly for you. The more I think of you the clearer you are in my dreams. It feels so real that when you say that you love me I want to take you in my arms and hold on to you. I never wanted to let you go. I feel so lost without you. Please come back to me Prince. Even if its just for one more night. I need to hear you say that you love me again. I need to feel you laying next to me. I need you to make love to my body again. I need you to put a smile on my face. Now that my tears are beginning to fall I don't know what I need to do to bring you back to me. Sometimes I wish god had kept me so that you could love forever. You should be here spreading your magic and love of music to the world. You are the greatest gift that anyone could ask for. You were my gift. My greatest treasure. My hearts song. My everything. My love for you has no boundaries and I hope that I will continue to see you in my dreams even if its just for a moment. I've loved you as a child and I love you still. With every firefly in the sky is a whisper of love from you being sent from heaven. When the moon shines at night I will think that is you smiling at me. With every twinkling star in twilight I will know that your golden eyes are watching me. Each warm breeze will be a sweet embrace. Every sunbeam will be a gentle kiss. And with every roll of thunder there will be your heart beating out its love for me as mine does for you. You are now part of the world around me and I will cherish every sunrise and every rainfall as well as every moonbeam and bright star. Until we are ineach others embrace again my love. Wrap your wings around me when I dream.

Forever and Always yours.

Regan Michelle.....Nelson