To Your Feelings

vi.

"You feel something close enough to love, and you won't let go of it this time."

To you who's happy,

     Six months since you broke up with him, and you're in another relationship. A new one. A new beginning. A fresh start. You feel good. He has provided you with everything the last one failed to give you. He says things that make you laugh, and something in your face seems to be coming back- that smile. Your smile seems to be bigger than your last. He loves you and you love him too. You feel something close enough to love and you won't let go of it this time.
     For six months you have been so broken you thought there was no recovery. Your last one was such a jerk, and you knew one day his insecurities will break what the both of you have built over time. You have been crying each night going through so much heartbreak being wrong about the person you thought you knew. Now you're not, because you found another. A completely different smile than the other, a broader back, slicker hair, a better sense of humor, a completely different man, and you found in him what the last one threw away- your heart. And it feels good to be happy, right? Your ex is gone and six months later you find yourself in a bar laughing at your boyfriend's jokes.
     But you can't help but wonder what leaving your last one was like for him. He loves you still. He sees you everyday laughing with another man, leaving him with more insecurities to feed his heartache. You cried every night, he cries still. His eyebags prove it all, and he makes it worse by sleeping three hours a day. You've lost your smile and you got it back, he's scared he may never find his' again. You've moved on, but he hasn't.
     Don't ever blame yourself for what happened. Destiny has it's way of doing things. You didn't meet him by accident. Maybe you met him, loved him, left him so you may love the new one better. The past won't decide your future, only help mend it. You're happy now, and it may take more than six months, or a new smile, jokes, or even a new one for him to find the smile on his face again and get his happiness back, but until then, he loves you, and sees you happier.
     Then something on his face starts coming back.