To Your Feelings

xiii.

"You're waging a war to keep him by your side, but you're the only one fighting."

To your tears,

    When you were a kid you used to cry about a lot of stuff. You used to cry about why your parents wouldn't take you with them on their vacation, or let you buy your favorite chocolate at the supermarket. You used to cry about that stolen candy you had under your bed or cry at the dinner table because your big bad brother kept teasing you. You used to cry when you were called silly names at school, and you used to come home crying to your mother because you flunked your math exam and she'd hug you, telling you the future isn't set just yet.
     Now you cry because of him. You cry because the man you trusted your heart with, trusted him to take care of it, broke it right in front of you and you watched it shatter into pieces, leaving tears running down your cheeks and he just couldn't understand what you felt. He told you you're not good enough for him and you're just not the one he was looking for. You cry because you wage a war to keep him by your side, but you're the only one who's fighting. You cry because you never thought you'd be wrong about the man you loved more than anyone else. You loved him because he told you the right things to say, but when time tested him to do the right things, he wronged you instead. You cry because you were wrong about yourself, and you never expected things to hurt that much once they started to fall apart. You cried, and you cried overnight looking for someone to  be there to tap your back, but there was nobody there.
     Tears fell, and how you wished you could go back to the times you cried about your parents going on vacation, or the supermarket chocolate, the stolen candy, your big bad brother, the silly names, or the math exams. How you wish you could still feel your mother's hug to tell you everything was gonna be okay. How you wish.
     You made mistakes, but you did it out of love. You cried, but all those drops fell for a reason. It's okay. It's going to be okay. It's been a long night of crying, but the sun's coming soon. Let the tears dry in a warm hug of the six a.m. sunlight. It's okay to let a few tears out. It'll all be over soon.