Melt your headaches call it home {Ryden}

Chapter 4: a weird morning with good people.

{RYAN POINT OF VIEW}
I woke up and I feel the presence of another human. I freaked out giving myself a panic attack waking up Brendon.  I had completely forgot I was at Brendon's.
"Hey, hey, hey.. ry. It's okay. You're safe here. You're in my house. In my bedroom. Everything is okay. I'm not going to hurt you. Okay?" Brendon said in a calm soothing voice. I collected myself and relaxed and cuddled up next to him again.  "Sorry" I said it quietly.
"Don't be" Brendon said.
"What Time is it?" I asked  Brendon looked over at his phone. "5am. Are you always up this early love?" He asked.
I nodded.
Brendon had his arms wrapped around me.my face was up against in neck. I wanted to cry but I didn't want him to worry about me. I mean he already does. Whatever.
I started crying . I couldn't control it. He held me tighter.
"What's wrong Ry ?" He asked.
I don't know how to tell him.
"Ryan don't tell him! He doesn't care. No one does! You're better off dead Ryan!" God the voices are back.
I responded to him by just crying harder. He sat up so I practically laying on top of him crying now.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm wasting your time, and making you get up way earlier than you would of. I'm sorry I'm sorry" I sobbed.

"Ry you don't need to apologise. Don't be sorry. I don't know why you're sorry" he said stroking the top of my head.

I'm so pathetic. "RYAN! Wtf kill YOURSELF" the voices are screaming. God I don't know what to do. I don't want Brendon to think I'm manic or crazy. I'm not I'm not. 
"Ry..Ry?? You're zoning out. You good?" Brendon asked
"Kinda" I sighed.
"Talk to me love. What's going on" Brendon said hugging me tightly.
I sighed and relaxed a bit. "I don't know but do you have Advil" I asked
"Yeah. Its in the kitchen Im Not allowed to have it in my room" Brendon said.
Me being stupid and not thinking a blurt out "why?" GOD he probably hates me now.
He sighed deeply. Oh god. He's probably gonna be like "you can't ask Ryan" oh FUCK.
"It was a few years back and I'm okay now. But I tried over dosing" he said. Oh my god Brendon tried to kill himself I hugged him tightly. Maybe I'm not that different from him after all. "Ryan I promise you, I'm okay now" he said he could sense I was worried about him.
There was a knock knock his bedroom door.
"Brendon it's time to get up and have breakfast" His mom said.
I looked up at him. I don't want to leave his arms. He kissed the top of my head.

I got up because I guess Brendon probably needs to eat.  I checked my phone 1 text from my mom which read "you forgot to take your meds last night good luck with today" god my mom doesn't care.

I stared at the text for who knows how long but it was enough for Brendon to take my phone and say "wtf why is she like that. And will you be okay today?" He asked. I shrugged. I didn't feel like talking anymore and I think Brendon was starting to sense that.

We went down stairs and had breakfast.

"Ryan wanna write down your address so we can stop by your house and you can get your stuff on our way to school?" Brendon's mom asked.

I nodded and wrote down my address and handed it to her.

Brendon got ready to go while I was on my phone texting my mom

[TEXT CONVERSATION]

Mom: Ryan you forgot your meds

Me: I know

Mom: how's that going for you

Me: eh

Mom: Ryan where are you?

Me: Brendon's house

Mom: so you are friends with him

Me: I guess

Mom:  Ryan open up. Just cuz you're screwed up doesn't mean you can't have friends.
[END OF TEXTS]

I started to cry. I hate how fucking rude my mom is to me. Brendon took my phone to read my texts from my mom.

"Im sorry she's Like That ry. You deserve better" he said hugging me.
~~
We got to my house and I grabbed my stuff I needed for school. Changed out of Brendon's cloths actually I kept his sweatshirt on because I didn't feel like finding one of my own. I ran back out to the car where Brendon and his mom were waiting.  Time for school.  Oh god.
~~
{BRENDON POINT OF VIEW}
Ryan and I have first period together which is good because I think Ryan isn't feeling very good and i want to make sure he is okay. We walked on to campus and i kept looking over st him.
We still have 10 minutes before school. I grab Ryan and pull him around to the back side of the building.
"We are we over here bren?" He mumbles.
"Ryan you're not okay. I can see it. What's going on. If i have to I'll skip class just to get an answer from you" i explain .

"I'm fine bren, Really I am. I have a migraine but I'm fine" he said.

"Ry?" I died but he didn't respond he walked away and headed towards the class room. I sighed and started To follow him to class when Dallon came up to me.
"Hey You Good Brendon" He asked looking at me worried.
"Im fine. I'm  just worried about Ryan" I sighed.  The thing about dallon is he's one if my closest friends and knows pretty much pretty much everything about me
"Brendon, Why are you worried. about the new kid?" Dallon asked. Shit how I explain it.
"Well, for start his mom is a asshole and he self harms. I just don't know why" I said has I leaned into Dallon.
HE hugged me
"Well Brendon all you can really do is be there for him"