Melt your headaches call it home {Ryden}

Chapter 9: relapse

{RYAN POINT OF VIEW}

I found myself frantically placing my kitchen in my house. My mother would be home soon and I know she's going to be mad. I've skipped school every day this week because the voices are getting out of control. 

"HEY RYAN!!! SHE WILL BE HOME SOON YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO" THEY shouted.

I waited patiently for her to open the door.

"Ryan are you home?" I hear her call

"In Here" i shout  back grabbing a knife.

Mom walks into the room.

"Ryan put the knife down. Put it down" she said nervously.

"Why?" I snapped at hers

"Just put The knife down! We can talk about this!" She said.

"No we can't" I scream throwing the knife and missing her face by an inch.

"GOD DAMNIT RYAN HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MISS" the voices yell.

I reached for the scissors and threw them missing her again.

"Ryan! Calm down! I don't know what's wrong with your psychotic mind but you're out of control" she screamed at me.

"This is your fucking fault." I yell back at her.

"What Have I Done?" She ASKED acting like she's confused.

I take a step towards her and she tries to take a step back.

I watch her take her phone out of her pocket and dial 911.

I watch her but I feel so distant. Like I'm watching myself try to kill her. Have the voices taken over me that much? Or am I just being a little bitch.

I pulled the razor blades out of my pocket and throw them One at a time. The last one nicks her cheek.

"Ryan! Stop this! Stop this now" my mom screams

I take another step closer and the next thing I know being pinned to the ground.

"GOD DAMN! YOU STUPID BITCH" i scream at her.

I tried to fight the force pushing me down. But I found that I had 4 grown men holding me down.  I tried to bite one and they continued to pin me down.

~~~~~
I woke up several hours later and room was all white.

"RYAN YOU FAILED! GET OUT OF HERE AND FINISH HER OFF" the voices start screaming.

I tried to get up and I realise I've been strapped down.
God dammit!

I tried and tried to break the bonds holding me down.

A nurse walks in

"get the hell out of here you cunt! UNLESS you're planning on settting me free!" I yell.

"No. I'm not letting you out." She says backing away towards the door!

I finally managed to get my right hand free and am able to free myself.

I walked out of my hospital room. And head towards the exit of the ward.

I grabbed some surgical tool sitting in a near by counter.

"YES RYAN! GOOD JOB! YOU CAN FINISH THAT BITCH OFF!" I heard the voices shout.

I smiled to myself. I'm in total control. It's not just the voices in my head. That bitch really should be dead.

I get close to the exit of the ward and am stopped by a nurse.

"How did you get out?" She asked

"I don't think that matters" I said pinning her to the wall.

I held the scalpel to her throat.

"If you make a sound you're dead so you understand me?" I asked calmly

She nodded.

"Good" I said.

"Now. I need you to sign me out and say I've got it under control. Okay?" I said calmly

She nodded her head.

I stepped aside so so she could find my chart.

She looked for the paperwork to sign me out.

Then BITCH must have hit the panic alarm because I could doctors running towards me.

I quickly step BE hind her and press the scales to her throat while holding her body tightly.

"If Any Of You step an inch closer to me I will not hesitate to kill her" I scream

"Drop the scalpel" One of the doctors shout.

I moved my hand so the scalpel blade cuts the nurses cheek.

"Whoops my bad." I laughed

"You don't have to do this" another doctor says!

"Like you think I have a choice?" I asked grazing the nurses chest with the blade.

"RYAN KNOCK IT OFF" another doctor yells.

"Careful! You wouldn't want my hand to slip" I smiled.

One of the doctors tried to step forwards
And put the scalpel back to the nurses neck.

"KILL HER AND RUN" the voices chant.

I start applying pressure getting ready to end her.

And suddenly I started getting light head and feel a needle in my arm.

I stopped the scalpel but don't collapse like the the doctors would have hoped.
I turn around to see 3 doctors ready for me.

I throw a punch at the biggest one and he blocks me pretty well.

"RYAN! RUN!" The voices yell.

I looked up to see I had 30ft to the exit.
I could do it. I could sprint it.

I sprinted towards the exist and manage to push open the door. I started stumbling and The room started spinning. Fighting to keep conscious I stumbled out the door. 
~~
I collapse on the COULD linoleum floors and it all goes black...
I can't see anything.
I can hear the voices screaming about how I failed.
I can't get up. It's like I'm frozen in Suspended animation. Almost like a coma.

I just needed to get the hell out of here so I could The Bitch That made me who I am!