{RYAN POINT OF VIEW}
The voices are screaming and I need to get out of this place.
"Brendon. I need to leave" I said quietly.
He looked at me with loving eyes and stood up so I could get out of the booth.
I didn't bother to grab my stuff I just needed to get out of there fast before someone got hurt.
I ran outside and looked around. There was no where I could be completely alone! Fuck!
"RYAN! CARS! JUMP IN FRONT OF ONE" the voices screamed.
I leaned against the Wall of the diner. I collapsed onto the ground into a full blown panic attack.
Several minutes later I could hear Brendon's voice. But it sounded so distant because the voices had gotten so loud.
"RYAN! KILL HIM"
"KILL RYAN KILL"
"IF NOT YOU THEN HIM"
"KILL HIM"
"AFTER THAT KILL YOURSELF"
The voices screamed over and over again.
"Brendon. Please leave" I said quietly
"I'm not leaving you Ryan" he said
"Brendon. Please. Just leave" I just firmly
"Ry. I'm not leaving you're clearly not okay and I don't feel safe leaving you alone" he said
"Brendon. Please. Just listen to me and leave" I said
"RYAN WHAT THE FUCK JUST STRANGLE HIM" the voices screamed at me.
causing me to flinch again.
"Ry.. what are they saying?" Brendon asked
"To strangle you and then kill myself" I said
I refused to look at him because I didn't want exist right now.
"Ry can you look up and look at me?" Brendon asked
I shook my head no.
My panic attack was over at this point and I was an emotional vulnerable mess.
"Ryro.. everything is going to be okay!" Brendon said sitting next to me.
"Maybe for you." I sighed.
He wrapped his arms around me and I leaned into him.
"Ryan. You're going to be okay" he said and kissed my cheek.
"I need to go home. I need to take my meds, and some sleeping pills and Just See how long I can sleep for" I said.
"Ry.... sleeping pills get addictive and are dangerous" Brendon said
"Yeah. I know. But it's How I can sleep through the headaches and the Voices" I explained
"Ry. Get your meds and Come to my house. I don't want you to be alone" Brendon said.
"Bren I want to be alone. I don't want to speak anymore.. I just wanna be alone okay ?" I said
"Ry.. please don't just go silent on me again.."Brendon begged
I didn't say anything.
"DO NOT SAY ANOTHER WORD RYAN"
"YOU SPOKE TO MUCH RYAN"
"STOP TALKING"
The voices yelled.
I got up grabbed my stuff from Brendon and started walking home.
~~~~~
{BRENDON POINT OF VIEW}
I sat there on the ground worried about Ryan. I know he's going to go home and hurt himself.
I sighed and leaded my head against wall.
"Dammit" I muttered under my breath.
Spencer and Dallon walked out.
"Brendon are you okay?" Dallon asked.
"Yeah.. Im Just worried about ry." I said
"What Made him flinch earlier ?" Dallon asked
"Yeah that was really weird. So is he okay? What was that about voices?" Spencer added.
"He's Okay... i don't think he's going to want me to tell you guys.." i sighed
My phone started Vibrating
[TEXT CONVERSATION]
Ryro: Im gonna guess Spencer and Dallon are asking you about why I left.
Brendon: they r wot do I say?
Ryro: whatever you want as long as they don't hate me after...
Brendon: Ok ryro. Btw pls dont hurt u self.
Ryro: No promises. But I'm going to take a nap. I'll talk to you later.
[END TEXT CONVERSATION]
"Brendon You good?" Spencer asked
"Yeah" I sighed
~~~
We walked to the park. It's roughly 4pm the school will be calling my house in and hour and then mom will call me to find out why I ditched school again..
"So Brendon is Ryan okay?" Dallon asked.
"Kinda sorta." I said
"You Said This morning that he self harms right ?" Dallon asked
"Yeah, buts it's a lot more complicated than just self harm..." i sighed
"Several doctors have diagnosed him differently but basically he's got schizophrenia or something along those lines... and an eating disorder which is completely unrelated to the fact that he hears voices screaming at him" I explained
"Brendon..that's pretty serious has he ever some one other than himself" Spencer asked
"Almost but he pretty much has things under control " I said
**
My phone started going off
"Hey Ry you okay?" I ask answering the phone
ALL I can hear is muffled sobbing
"Brendon please come to my house. I need someone here. I can't be alone I'm not safe with myself. Please help me" Ryan begged.
"GUYS I GOTTA go" I said.
Ryan texted me his address and I sprinted to his house.
When I got there I tried my luck and the door was unlocked. I ran inside
"RYAN WHERE ARE YOU?" I shouted.
I found him. He was in his bathroom and bloody mess crying..
"Ryan what happened?" I asked running over and hugging him.
"Voices...Brendon... c..c..can you drive?" He asked?
"Yes Love, Why ?" I asked
He moved his hand that coveted in blood off his leg.
"I...think... I need stitches..." he said
Revealing a gash on his leg.
I quickly got up and looked for something I could bandage his leg with so he didn't bleed out or anything.
I found bandaged and wrapped his leg,
We got in the car and that was parked in the garage. And I drove him to the hospital to get stitches.
The nurses lectured him on how he could have bled out and how he needs to be careful.. he didn't tell them it was self inflicted... which might have been a bad thing. When we got back to his house his mom was home.
We walked in and I followed Ryan straight to his room.
"Ryan are you gonna be okay?" I ask
He walked over and started crying into my arms and i hugged him tightly
"PLEASE never let me go no matter how much I push away Brendon! Please please save me from myself! I can't do this on my own anymore" he sobbed
"Don't worry Ryan! We will get through this together okay love?" I asked quietly
He nodded
YOU ARE READING
Melt your headaches call it home {Ryden}
FanfictionRyan Ross suffers both physical and mental health problems. The quiet boy in the back of the class who doesn't speak to anyone. He isn't mute, he just refuses to speak. And takes the punches life throws at him in silence. Brendon Urie popular and l...
