Dang Nammit

I'm probably sexier than your dog

Hi guys, do you ever wonder would it really hurt as much as you think it would shoving a phone up your butthole?.....no?.......okay ANYWAYS. The picture above is sherman.

Penny's P.O.V
As I get into the corridor I am rugby tackled by my best friend Bella who let me add is about seven inches taller than me. "Penny!"

Before I can get up, I feel a familiar lightweight human straddle me and a cloud of heavy aftershave hits my nose so hard that my ability to smell goes for a while. "Sherman.......hi!" I say in a strained voice as he slowly lifts from ontop of me.

"Hey, Inkpen, Babe! How you doing this beautiful morning?"

We all exchange weird looks considering there is thunder and lightning outside.

"Soooo, maybe you could come to mine for a bit?" He says in a suggestive tone.

"Um....er.....no thanks" I say unsuresly.

"You should be grateful that I'm asking considering I'm basically a greek god."

Right after he speaks, an eruption of hysterical coughs breaks out to indicate that he really isn't.

"I see everyone still has a cold? Sherman questions while looking around in confusion. "It's strange though because their cold always seems to get worse when I say something truthful about myself, like when I'm sexy af"

one cough

"Or that I'm hotter than hell"

Three coughs

Or that I'm as handsome as Francisco Lacowski maybe even more"

26 coughs (mostly the girls)

"Or I'm as beautiful as a China doll"

Suddenly the same guy from class shouts " I LIKE CHINA DOLLS."

With that outburst everyone turns to look at him in confusion.

Noticing how awkwardly he made it for himself he quickly adds "NO HOMO THO"

Smooth Bro.....smoooth, but seriously what's up with guys saying that?
Once again my train of thought are interrupted by the thing I definitely wasn't ready to hear.

"Or that im probably sexier than your dog" he points at a random girl.

Cue volcano eruption also know as everyone in the corridors cough. While i try to contain my laughter....why on earth do you suddenly need to pee when you're on the verge of dying if laughter? Mother nature is a bi-biscut.

I had a feeling that was gonna happen but what i didn't expect is for the girl to shout, "MY DOG IS A SEXY POODLE AND POOPS OUT HOTTER LOOKING THINGS THAN YOU".

Everyone falls silent as she struts off.

Sherman finally decides to shut up but then opens his mouth indicating he's about to say something. I stare at him waiting for him to realise what everyones actions meant but like the oblivious person he is he then came to the conclusion of, "they probably have the bad case of the sherman fever".

I am actually wondering when this lanky exuse of a hum-sorry i mean sherman will get off me considering hes till straddiling me. So like the nice person i am in one swift movement i puah him off me not caring if he got hurt. What? His butt is really bony and it was digging into my thigh like a mother fluffer.

"Ughhh that hurt" Sherman groans in pain.

"Oops sorry" i say, sarcasm dripping from my voice. Normally I'm not that mean its just that, that hot piece of se-i mean sewer pipe decided to walk into me. Like who do you think you are? A wall? Yes walls walk into me not the other way around....

During all the commotion i saw bella leave already so trying to catch her up i quicken my pace weaving through the students but next thing you know my beautiful....ok thats a lie but my delicate face collides with something hard.

Dang Nammit its another wall. Can't they just look where they're going?

Unfortunately i am know to have the slowest reflexes so instead of trying balance myself to prevent me from falling i end up slowly coming closer to the floor. But instead of connecting with the floor like i thought i would, i was caught into the wall arms. Sadly though i thought it would be a great idea to scream, "titanic" causing the wall to drop me right after catching me.

"What the hell?" the wall shouts.

At that moment something dawned on me.

Authors note:

Ooo i think penny just realised something *smirk smirk* but i guess you'll never know what she realised until you read the next chapter *hint hint*.

See ya ma beepbops!