Dang Nammit

Pencil actually means amazing in Spanish

And at that moment something dawned on me....

"Aaaaaah, I didn't flush the toilet before I left the house this morning!" I practically scream, throwing myself at the shoes of the wall that just dropped me. Ooh, converse.

"Nice shoes, Mr wall!" I smile, standing up to see who I was actually talking to.

I think I just died.

"So.... you're unhygienic as well as nutty, charming." Ryder smirks, making a show of brushing penny bacteria off of his shoes. "We'll at least I'm not the one who's gonna get kicked in the nutty if they dont shut up!" I retort, slamming my tiny hand into Ryders slab of rock that he calls a chest.

"kicked in the nutty, Pencil, you really are hilarious!"

Pencil?

He seems to read my mind. "Pencil, get it? I just combined penny and imbecile together and that's what I got, seemed to fit perfectly. You dont have to tell me I'm a genius." The way he runs a hand through his perfec- I mean putrid head of hair annoys me almost to the point of madness because he is so damn atrracti- I mean atrocious! I want to slap it off of his head.

"I'll have you know, that pencil actually mean amazing in Spanish, so I thank thee for he compliment!" I say, lying through my teeth. He'll never know with his lack of brains. I dont even take Spanish.

"Umm, no it doesn't, I speak Spanish. The word pencil doesn't mean anything other than pencil. Just like the word Penelope doesn't mean anything other than crazy. Stop trying to act like your smart."

That's it! I'm gonna kill that little piece of salami! I'm gonna run him over repeatedly with a tractor that is being controlled by my long awaited pet tarantula... he will rue the day.....

"Inkpen?" Says a voice that doesn't belong to Ryder.

"Bella Bella bobella banana fana fofella!"

"Hello to you too." Smiles my best friend who is standing next to her hulk of a boyfriend Derek who I'm convinced is an alien due to his abnormal tall height (well, compared to me anyway) and his ability to gain muscle in his forehead. I don't know how he does it! Not even Ryder is this beefy!

"Hello there, testosterone on legs! How's the air pressure up there?" I address Derek who then proceeds to pick me up by my shoulders and swing me around because I am the size of a three year old compared to him. "Hello, dwarf foetus!" he squeezes me so that my face is a pea between his bulging pectorals. Bella just giggles the whole time.

********

And then I remember something.

"Where's Ryder gone?" I look around, trying to spot him. Derek just pinches my cheeks and laughs, "Got the hots for him too have you?"

I shriek with disgust. "No, ew just no! Uuuugh!" I make a big show of gagging and wiping my tongue. "I thought you knew me better, Derek, you know he isn't my type!"

"Yes, of course, because Hiccup from how to train your dragon is."

How dare he!

"He's hot, okay! And he rides dragons for fluffs sake! How could he not be? Actually, dont answer that."

"Yeah but admit it, Inkpen, you'd want Ryder just as much if he could ride a dragon."

Great. Now I'm thinking of Ryder riding topless on top of toothless. Great. Ooh, nice abs, Ryder.

"Pen?" Bella waves a hand infront of me ad I snap back into reality. "What?"

***********

After an endless row of classes, its finally homelike and I run out of class to meet Bella, Derek and Sherman who I guess you could say are my walking home buddies. We all coincidentally live opposite each other so it works. I spot Sherman's head of dishevelled hair and am about to rush to him when something stops me.

"Well, well, well. Pencil, can't you stay away?"

"Uhhh, its the walking STI."

"Yeah, which stands for stunning, talented and irritatingly clever. Thankyou."

"Thank you, is what you should be saying to the tree that is relentlessly supplying oxygen for you... actually, scrap that, you should give it a apology."

I'm actually proud of myself for that one.

"Smooth, but I'm smoother. Even my hair is and its packed with gel."

I bet his hair is smooth.

"So anyway, Ryder, asshole, whatever you're called...I have to find my friends, I'm walking home with them." He shakes his head smugly, and with a quick flick of his fringe to the right, I can see that my friends are no longer there and probably decided to make their way home without me.

I look up at Ryder, He did this!

Before I can explode, Ryder holds up his hands in surrender. "Chill, Princess Pencil, you can ride with me."

"But that's what you wanted all along wasn't it?" I eye him up suspiciously, my arms crossed.

"Nah, babe. I'd rather not have your flatt lack of a butt on my seats but I pity your situation. The only condition is that you buy me some baby wipes afterwards so I can wipe your nerd germs off. Deal?"

I look at him with blue flames In my eyes. Ready to roast him so hard that the Christmas turkey starts quaking. "Hell no! Why would I even-"

But he has already started leading me outside towards a shiny black moped that I can only assume is his. Theres something about a shiny black thing on wheels that makes guys more attractive.

"Your carriage awaits, peasant." Ryder offers me his hand which I brush off.

"Your mum awaits my non existent penis." I mutter under my breath before taking the helmet he hands me. I don't say thank you, so he grabs it back.

"Get brain damage and die then, if we crash, remember why you didn't have a helmet."

But I'm not listening, because I'm trying on the leather jacket that was slung over the seat and I've found the men in black sunglasses tucked away in one of the pockets. Ryder turns around and stifles a laugh.

"What?" I inquire, "Are you in shock because of how swag I look?"

"You really just used the word swag." He smirks, while climbing onto the motorbike which I am now imagining as a dragon.