Wayward [Kylo Ren]

V

V

I know better. I know better. This is not what is supposed to happen.

Initially, Kaida had thought nothing bad of what she was going through. It was natural to like someone. But to feel something on a deeper level...while training as a Jedi?

Instead of going to someone about it, Kaida had taken it upon herself to research the Jedi Code, even the old one enlisted before the days of the Rebellion and the Galactic Empire. She researched just how strict the guidelines were. How many rules could be broken. And just how many rules, if broken, could lead her down the path of the Dark Side.

But surely breaking one little rule couldn't automatically sentence her to a dark destiny, could it?

Kaida didn't want to feel this fear, but she did. And unfortunately, it affected her friendship...or whatever this was...with Ben. She hid her struggle since she discovered that she felt more for the Solo boy than she had expected.

She remained in the library, getting lost in the aisles stacked tall of books, of fact and fiction. She knew it was the one place that Ben would never dare step into—she knew he wasn't a fan of research, or books. He liked to be read to, but to actively read something on his own, it wasn't happening.

I must not let my feelings disrupt my training. It is not healthy. It is forbidden. It should not happen. But thinking the words stirred something in Kaida, and it wasn't anything good. Maybe she was overthinking things; she tended to do it every now and again. But this wasn't a normal situation, this was something potentially huge for her.

This was potentially life-altering.

"So this is where you've been?"

Kaida nearly jumped out of her skin and Jedi robes to find Ben chuckling at her scared act. She frowned.

"Oh, come on, Kai," he simpered. "I didn't mean to startle you. You should have felt me coming."

"I was...focused on something else."

"Clearly. Haven't seen you for a bit. You been avoiding me or something?"

Kaida wanted to say "yes," but that would spur a whole new discussion that she wasn't quite sure how it would go, and it was something she wasn't sure she was open to facing right away. She couldn't look into Ben's eyes, she would feel compelled to tell him the truth. Something about him always made her want to confess to him. He had no influence on her mind, and he always swore that he never did. Kaida always believed him.

She felt like she could be open with him. He was working on that with her, and she saw his efforts. But this...she couldn't tell him.

"Kai?" Ben questioned, the concern all over his face. "Are you okay?"

Kaida swallowed what words were in her throat. Her mind felt frozen, unsure of what direction to lead this into. Her mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. Nothing but an awkward squeak, to which Kaida's eyes widened in horror. Why is this so difficult?!

"Kaida." This time Ben addressed her by her full name. "What's going on? This...isn't you." He took a step towards her, and in turn she stepped back. "What's wrong? What's spooked you?"

She couldn't answer him. Her floodgates weren't open; she wasn't sure if she wanted them to be open.

"Okay, you're seriously start to scare me, Kai," Ben said. "You have to tell me what's up."

"I...I can't." Hurriedly, Kaida turned away from Ben and kept on going.

"Kaida!"

But she kept on walking, in fear that if she turned back to him, she would have a talk with him that she most certainly wasn't ready to have.

~*~

A Force presence that wasn't Axel's rose Kaida from her unnerving sleep on her cot. Her joints felt stiff, and stretching did nothing to help them. She had a crick in her neck, and her black hair felt stuck to her face. He's here.

Kaida collected her composure as the door opened, revealing Ben Solo to her. Still clad in his black attired, and again, no mask to be seen. Is there meaning behind it? Is it some sort of ploy? Maybe he knows the mask doesn't intimidate me. Maybe he knows the more I see his face, the more pain it inflicts on me.

"What's your game, Solo?" Kaida asked quietly.

Ben's eyes squinted. "I told you that's not my name."

"And I don't care that you've told me that. You try and pry a phantom answer from my mind, and you keep me and my brother hostage. What more is there to our imprisonment?" She raised a curious brow. "What is there that I can't see?" Kaida looked past Ben to find that he had no Stormtroopers flanking him. "Do you think you're so high and mighty that you don't need security?"

"I've handled Jedi before, many more than just you."

Kaida cringed. "I know. I remember. I saw what you did to them." The unnatural hum of Ben's blade played in the back of her mind. It had an unnatural look to it as well, instead of a smooth blade it looked...jagged. Erratic. Unstable.

She could say the same about the man standing before her.

Back when the downfall initially occurred, she hadn't known it was Ben behind the attack. It had been some Sith with a red saber cutting down Jedi. The revelation had rocked her when it came to her. And it haunted her ever since.

Kaida watched Ben's expression turn into something she hadn't seen since her capture. She could have been mistaken...but it looked as though his face softened a bit. She watched him cautiously. She didn't know the fine details about the path of the Dark Side, but she had to assume that manipulation was one of the traits.

She watched as, with a wave of his gloved hand, the door to her cell shut on its own. Kaida was even more on alert now. He stood between her slim chance of freeing Axel and herself from this place...wherever they were. Could I attack him, when he wears a face of someone I once...still...care for? She felt conflicted. He looked like Ben Solo, but he wasn't Ben Solo to her.

"What?" Kaida finally dared to ask. "Am I not entertaining enough for you?"

Ben's eyes picked up to meet hers. "Kaida..." His voice had a crack in it, and she picked up on it in seconds. "I...I need your help."

**That cliffhanger, though...**