Wayward [Kylo Ren]

VII

VII

Kaida began to truly wonder if Axel was right. After Ben's so-called confession, he hadn't stopped by to see her since. She knew he hadn't seen Axel, either; she would have felt his presence. Her only visitors were Stormtroopers clad in white who offered her slop that they called food on a cold metal tray.

She wasn't sure what to wait for. Nothing? Something from Ben?

Kaida ran a hand through her greasy dark hair. She felt layers of sweat cling to her clothes. It wasn't hot in the room, she just hadn't switched out clothes for a bit. She wished she could, she'd take anything other than her robes that smelled of her stink.

She got up from the cot to sit herself on the cold floor, knees pulled to her chest. She remembered this position for some time. It had almost become a natural setting for her, especially during her conflicted time.

~*~

"You're not calm, Kai," Axel told his twin sister. Both were meditating together, legs crossed, a pillow seated underneath both of them.

Kaida peeked open an eye. Both of his were closed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Breathe. Do I need to coach you through breathing?"

She snorted. "I can handle breathing."

"Then let it help you."

Kaida wiggled for readjustment. She had never actively meditated outside of training. Axel had found it strange, too, when he had found her one day doing the activity. He'd decided to join her.

Kaida picked up on an approaching presence, one she was all too familiar with. It was also one she wasn't quite ready to face just yet, even though a significant amount of time had passed.

"Oh, didn't realize I was interrupting," came Ben Solo's voice from behind Kaida. She felt her concentration snap and her body tense up.

"It's nothing important," Axel assured Ben.

"I hate to break up the sibling time, but, could you give me a minute with her?"

Please say no, please say no, Kaida chanted in her head. But she sighed deep in her chest when she saw Axel get up. She remained where she was. She watched her brother leave and was very aware of Ben's presence.

"First it was the library, and now it's meditation," Ben started casually. "You're changing into someone unrecognizable, Kai. Are you going to change your hair color next?" He laughed at his own joke. "Oh, come on. Not even a chuckle?"

Through her nose, Kaida sighed. She removed herself from the pillow, grabbing it as she rose. She turned to Ben, and her heart was sent into a sprint. "Why are you following me, Ben?"

"I can't help but wonder if I've done something wrong." He looked down, shameful. "Did I say something to upset you? Have I insulted you somehow? You just one day stop speaking to me. You avoid me like I'm a disease. What happened to us being friends, Kai?"

Kaida felt her heart cry as his eyes met hers. I'm not ready. If I say what's really going on, it'll break our friendship to pieces. I can't lose him; he means too much to me. She searched his eyes, hoping that he would give her the strength to tell him the truth. It doesn't do well for a Jedi to lie. She really wished her brain would shut up right now.